


Revenge, Betrayal, Love (Not Necessarily In That Order)

by awesomeskittlesclw83



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gen, I Don't Even Know, Language, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-03-30 11:53:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 37,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3935821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomeskittlesclw83/pseuds/awesomeskittlesclw83
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Revenge is never a straight line. It's a forest and like a forest it's easy to lose your way...to get lost...to forget where you came in." </p><p>When a ghost from Murphy's past comes back to haunt him can he get past it and do what needs to be done or will he lose his way completely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is just something that popped into my head after reading the quote in the summary. Sorry if this sucks.

Clarke cautiously made her way through The Ark. It was the most unsavory part of TonDC and if you didn't live there, you stayed away unless it was absolutely necessary which unfortunately for her, in this moment, it was. As she looked at the address Raven had given her she began to have second thoughts. The farther she traveled into The Ark the more she wondered if it was really worth it. It wasn't like what he'd done was all that bad, was it? 

She wasn't sure anymore, of anything and just as she was about to forget the whole thing, she found that place she was looking for. She double checked the address because she wanted to be certain and the place was nice by The Ark's standards. She stood at the door for a few minutes debating on whether to knock or not because she still wasn't sure this was what she wanted. 

Then she remembered that Raven had said she could listen to what they had to say and decide later. "Just talking to them about it doesn't mean you have to agree to it happening. Besides what have you got to lose?" She heard Raven's voice repeat in her head and knocked on the door. 

There was a short pause before a buzzing sound indicated that the door was unlocked and she slowly made her way inside. The inside was just as unexpected for The Ark as the outside was and it was immaculate. Since there was no-one there to meet her, she made her way unaided through the house. 

It made her uneasy and question why she was there even more until she heard voices coming from what she assumed was the living room. She headed towards the voices and the scene that greeted her as she walked through the threshold was unexpected to say the least. 

She saw two guys about her age arguing over tea of all things. She stood there baffled and unsure how to take them. One was slightly shorter than the other and without turning around the shorter one spoke. 

"Let's have the Princess be the deciding factor, shall we? I'm sure she wouldn't mind settling this for us, would you, Princess?"

She hated being called that and the way he said it made her hate it even more. 

"I think we've rendered her speechless." The other one replied when Clarke didn't answer them. 

"Well that's a first. The speechlessness normally comes after we've explained things, not before."

Both turn to face her waiting for her answer and while the shorter one had beautiful blue eyes, they were cold and unfeeling, sending unwanted chills through her body. As he looks at her she can't shake this feeling that he's trying to figure out how best to kill her and the other while looking like nothing more than muscle, doesn't give her a good feeling either. 

"I'm sorry, what was the question again?"

"The tea, Princess. I say it's better with a shot of whiskey while numbnutts here thinks it's fine the way it is. So you taste each and tell us which is better."

Clarke wondered what this had to do with the reason she was here but figured it best to humor them and agrees to try the tea. She tried to keep her face as neutral as possible so as not to give something away and when she finished, both looked at her expectantly for her answer. 

She must have been taking too long in her attempt to word things without pissing one of them off because the shorter one spoke. 

"C'mon, Princess, spit it out. Be honest, whose is better?"

"Well the whiskey is a bit strong and somewhat overpowering but it cuts down on the bitterness of the tea which I think could use more sugar, so I'm gonna say the one with the whiskey is better."

"Now what, bitch?! I told you! Pay up, asshole."

Clarke watched the exchange trying not to laugh because it was just tea and they were acting like it was much more serious than that. The taller one grumbles as he pulls a 20 out of his wallet and places it in the other's hand. With a smile he places it in his pocket and just as quickly as it had appeared, the smile vanishes.

It was replaced with something serious and somewhat scary as both guys sit down, gesturing for Clarke to do the same. Once she's seated, they get down to business. 

"Now tell me what brings a Princess like you to a place like this? It's not very often we have royalty slumming it here in The Ark."

"Well my friend Raven said that you two could help me with a problem I'm having, gave me your address and told me to check it out, so here I am."

"What exactly are you looking for? Is it revenge or vengeance?"

"Aren't they the same thing?" Clarke asked confused.

"By definition yes. Both are the act of inflicting punishment in retribution for an injury, insult or wrong but are in fact two very different things." The taller one replied. 

"Vengeance is typically for another person whereas revenge is always personal in nature. Not to mention the service we provide is different based on which you're looking for." The shorter one elaborated. 

"So, are you seeking revenge or vengeance?"

Clarke was silent for a bit as she tried to figure out which she wanted. She wanted revenge but also vengeance and was still uncertain of the difference. Noticing her obvious struggle the shorter one said

"How about you tell us what happened to you that made you come to us and we'll go from there?"

She nods, takes a deep breath and proceeds to tell them why she was there. They listen intently, never saying a word but every so often they would share a look of understanding between them like they were already thinking of what to do. When she finished they remained silent for a few before saying anything. 

"So this Blake guy is basically a player who you let play you and now you want payback for being an idiot? I thought Princesses were supposed to be better than that."

"What my colleague is trying to say is why would you put yourself in that situation and not expect the outcome you got?"

She definitely liked the taller one better than the shorter one and before she could respond, the shorter one spoke again. 

"Let me guess, you thought it'd be different with you, didn't you? Thought that you could tame him and change his ways, right? And now you just wanna make yourself feel better because you were humiliated. Well sorry to disappoint you, Princess but we don't work for people who knowingly put themselves in a position to seek revenge or vengeance, so you're on your own. Now get out."

Clarke was dumbfounded and when she looked to the other for any signs of help she found none. He actually agreed with the shorter one and told her to leave. She instantly took back every nice thing she'd said about the taller one. Both were unfeeling assholes and why Raven had even sent her to them was beyond her. 

She leaves in a daze, not even remembering how she wound up at the coffee shop sitting across from Raven or what she was going on about. 

"I'm sorry Rae, did you say something?"

"Geez Clarke, did they scar you that bad? Are they doing it or not?" Raven asked eagerly.

"Not. They said that since I knowingly put myself in that situation I'm on my own in dealing with it."

"Well that sucks. Oh well, I'm sure we can come up with something."

"Seriously, Rae? That's all you gotta say? They rejected me, just like Bellamy."

"I guess they have standards. I don't know Clarke and he didn't reject you, he just used you till he got bored."

"Thanks, Raven. That really makes me feel so much better."

"Look, what happened sucks but you did know his reputation and I'm not saying it excuses him but you should of at least halfway expected things to go this way. I love you Clarke but I did warn you."

"I know Rae, I know. I'm just, I don't know, disappointed I guess."

"We'll figure this out, okay? I'm not gonna reject you."

"Thanks, Raven. You're awesome."

"I know."

They finish their coffee and talk a bit more before going their separate ways.

As soon as Clarke was out the door, the two guys got to work on a plan for both revenge and vengeance. 

"You sure this will work, Murph?"

"Have I ever been wrong before?"

"Well there was..."

"About this, Mbege. Have I ever been wrong about this?"

"Well no but she doesn't seem like the kinda person who really wants this."

"That's because she's not. At least not yet. She wants him to suffer and pay she just doesn't know it yet. She's still on the fence but trust me when I say this Blake guy will do something else that will send her over the edge and begging for us to help."

"Because she can't stand rejection. He's rejected her, we've rejected her and when he does it again she'll be so pissed off that..."

"She'll finally be ready for our services. Now let's find out everything we can on this Blake guy." Murphy says finishing Mbege's train of thought. 

"You wanna call Monty or should I?"

"You take Monty and I'll handle Jasper. Monty's still pissed at me for the last job so..."

"He'll help me before you, got it. Well let's get to work, shall we?"

They both smile devilishly at each other as they gather their supplies and had out the door. To say they loved their job was an understatement because when it came to revenge Murphy and Mbege were Gods. They were the best of the best and ever since they realized they had a knack and passion for revenge when they were 16, they started a revenge for hire business. 

It was strictly under the radar but 7 years later they were the go to people for any kind of revenge and had a wide range of clients throughout TonDC and the surrounding area. To be honest they were the reason half, if not all of the people in power in TonDc, The Dead Zone and City Lights were there in the first place. Their work was strictly need to know and they'd never had an unsatisfied customer. 

They were often asked by their clients how they got so good at something so soul crushing and the answer was simple, they never got attached. People wanted revenge but rarely could stomach the guilt that came after but Murphy and Mbege gave them what they wanted without them ever having to be a part of it, therefore their guilt was manageable and since they didn't personally know the people they were exacting revenge upon, they felt nothing but joy and the satisfaction of a job well done. 

It also helped that both of them had been through so much pain and tragedy in their lives that they wanted nothing more than to make people suffer and feel just a fraction of what they've had to endure.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This job may not be one they want to take but Murphy isn't listening.

Murphy and Mbege spent the next two weeks gathering as much information as they could about Blake. While Mbege worked on surveillance, Murphy handled the plans and when they were pleased with what they had, they consolidated it for finalizing. Murphy would finally have a face to go with the name since Mbege handled the surveillance, he never actually saw the faces until the finalization process. 

He would soon find out that this one would be very different from all the other's because Murphy knew him. As Mbege was taking the last few photos of the day, he hesitated when he recognized the girl that was with him but finally snapped the last photo and headed home. He knew Murphy wouldn't be off work for another hour so he'd have some time to figure out how to handle things while he developed the pictures.

Murphy comes home frustrated but happy. He was excited to finalize everything and couldn't wait to see what Mbege had. Murphy wasted no time in running through his ideas. 

"So I was thinking we could use Monroe and Miller for this one. I know they owe us and they're normally always on board."

"Murphy I think we..."

"I know Miller is a risk since he almost fucked up the last one but I think he could do okay with this one if we were to give him a small role. I remember Clarke saying he's got a thing for both guys and girls so..."

"Murphy!?"

"He does, doesn't he? Cuz if not then I'm gonna have to redo a plan or two."

"Murphy, we can't do this job."

"What are you talking about? Of course we can."

"No, Murph, not this one. We'll take the next one."

"You know the rules, if they come back again after leaving we do the job." Murphy states getting annoyed at Mbege. 

"Then I hope she doesn't come back."

"What is wrong with you? This guy is scum. He deserves this. How can you not want to do this after everything you've found out?"

"He does deserve this. Probably more than any of the others but we can't take this job, Murphy."

"Why the fuck not?!" Murphy yells, so done with his partner's insistence. 

Mbege knew it wouldn't be long before Murphy hit him so he got to the point as quickly as possible and threw the last picture he'd taken down on the table in front of Murphy. 

"This is why."

The picture was of Blake and a girl maybe 2 years younger than him whose features resembled each other in a way that you knew they were related. Murphy quickly glances at the photo but then dismisses it with a shrug saying

"Okay, he has a sister. What's the big deal with that?"

"It's not the sister! Look at him, Murphy. Really look at him. We need to reconsider this job." Mbege says losing his patience with Murphy. 

Murphy huffs but looks at the picture again and this time he actually studies it. 

"Bellamy?" He whispers as he begins to examine the rest of the pictures before raking his hands across the table and throwing them in or near the fire. 

Mbege watches in silence as Murphy destroys a few things around the house before heading upstairs where he hears the shower turn on a few minutes later. He sighs heavily and picks up Murphy's mess. Just as he finishes cleaning up he hears the shower turn off and waits a few more minutes before he ascends the stairs to Murphy's room. 

The door is slightly ajar and Mbege walks in to find Murphy laying on the bed with a towel wrapped around his waist and staring at the wall. He doesn't say a word, just takes his shoes off and lays on the bed next to Murphy. A second later Murphy rolls over, laying his head on his chest, drapes one of his legs over Mbege's who wraps his arm around him and pulls him closer.

"Bellamy mother fucking Blake of all people." He whispers as Mbege interlocks their fingers. 

"I know." He says and kisses Murphy's wet head.

He knew the best way to deal with Murphy when he got this way was to hold him close but let all other affection and talk come when he's ready for it. He'd learned over the years that if things weren't on Murphy's terms they didn't happen at all. Murphy knew Mbege was affectionate so he'd let him pull him close, interlace their fingers and kiss his head because it made him happy and when he was happy, he was cooperative which Murphy liked. 

They laid there in silence for a few more minutes until Murphy got bored and decided to have a little fun. He takes him leg that's draped over Mbege's and begins slowly rubbing it against his crotch. He then lifts his head up and kisses Mbege's neck. The action causes a small moan to escape his lips as Murphy moves up to his jaw line and lightly runs his tongue across Mbege's top lip before capturing it in a kiss.

Mbege loved this side of Murphy and wished he'd show it more often. Soon Murphy's straddling him and grinding his hips down on him causing him to growl some. When Mbege growls Murphy smirks and continues teasing him. Mbege wanted nothing more than for the teasing to stop and Murphy to just fuck him already but he wasn't about to vocalize it because he knew Murphy would draw it out more or stop all together. 

However when Murphy began to slowly unbutton his pants and pulled down his boxers just to kiss his stomach completely ignoring his dick, he couldn't take it anymore. Mbege grabbed a handful of Murphy's hair and his dick, pulling on both at the same time. A smile comes across Murphy's face as his head is pulled to the side while Mbege sits up and crashes their lips together as he strokes Murphy's cock.

Murphy loved when Mbege got this way and at times it became hard for him to stay in control but he always had a way of taking it back. Murphy broke the kiss and said

"Now you gotta wait till later. I'm gonna get dressed so we can grab some food."

He kissed Mbege's neck, biting kinda hard in order to get him to loosen his grip on his dick so he could get dressed. 

"I hate you, you know that right?"

"Bullshit! You fucking love me."

"I'd love to be fucking you right now." Mbege grumbled. 

"Later. Food first, followed by business and then pleasure."

Mbege simply nodded, too preoccupied with watching Murphy as he drops his towel and puts his clothes on. Mbege would love nothing more than to grab Murphy's naked ass, throw him on the bed and fuck him, hard but he never did because the last time he tried Murphy punched him, hard. Therefore he settled for just watching him and the anticipation of getting some later on that night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke makes a mistake and then decides to get even.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any typos. I didn't really proofread this before posting it.

Clarke had just gotten home from a long shift at the hospital and wasn't in the mood for what was waiting for her. Bellamy was sitting on the porch of the house she shared with Raven and Wick which wasn't always easy on the ears but neither of them were home at the moment because Bellamy wouldn't be there if they were. 

She sighed as she made her way up the steps to unlock the door, trying to ignore Bellamy but he wouldn't let her. She hesitated in unlocking the door because she didn't want him inside and knew if she didn't talk to him, he wouldn't leave. 

"Why are you here, Bellamy?"

"I missed you." He replied innocently. 

"Bullshit! What do you want?"

"I'm sorry. I was an idiot. Let me make it up to you and it won't happen again, I promise. I love you."

"I need some time, Bellamy. You can't just come back into my life after 2 weeks of nothing and expect things to go back to the way they were." She says with a tired sigh. 

"I know and I don't expect it too. I just want another chance to prove to you that I can be the man you want and need."

"Let me think about it and get back to you cause I can't really think right now and I'm tired."

"I can give you a massage like I used to." Bellamy suggested hopefully. 

"Bellamy, I'm not sure..."

Clarke is suddenly cut off by Bellamy's lips on hers and then just as quickly it was over. 

"So about that massage?"

Clarke hesitates and Bellamy takes her hand, making her unlock the door. She doesn't protest but she should have and she's very glad that Raven and Wick were still gone when she woke up because so was Bellamy. She laid in the bed for a while not believing how stupid she was to let him back in. However that was nothing compared to what happened at dinner that night.

She met Raven and Octavia at their favorite restaurant for a girl's night of fun but it was short lived. Clarke hadn't told them about last night's mistake with Bellamy so Octavia and Raven still thought they were done which was why Octavia decided to share the tragic story of her brother's latest conquest. 

All 3 of them laughed at the beginning of the story when she told them that the girl he had been sleeping with stole money from him when she found out he was also messing with 2 other girls at the same time as her. However when she told them that he had gone back to an ex who was stupid enough to let him play her again and came home with the exact amount of money the other girl stole, Clarke wasn't laughing. 

Raven noticed something was up but when she said something to Clarke, she dismissed it and excused herself saying she needed to sleep for an early shift in the morning. She couldn't believe she'd let him play her again or that he would stoop as low as to use his sister. She really believed that money was for Octavia. She was so stupid and way to pissed to drive, so she started walking. 

When she finally stopped walking, she was in front of the same house she had been to 2 weeks prior expect this time she was determined to get her revenge and knocked on the door. 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Mbege growls in frustration as the knock is heard upstairs. 

Murphy sighs as he puts his pants on and grabs his shirt, putting it on as he descended the stairs to answer the door. Mbege laid on the bed for a bit before reluctantly putting his clothes on and heading downstairs as well. When he hit the last step, Murphy had already opened the door and was ushering Clarke inside.

"I wasn't interrupting something, was I?"

"No, not at all. I wasn't about to get some dick but it's all good, so please tell us why you're here, Princess." Mbege snaps. 

Clarke isn't able to hide the shock on her face as the shorter one stifled a laugh. Murphy loved him like this and it was no secret that when Mbege wanted some but was interrupted, he became grouchy and callous. It wasn't that Clarke was shocked about it all, she just hadn't thought they were together. 

"I just need a minute and then you can enjoy the rest of your night."

"So spit it out, Princess." Mbege replied annoyed. 

Clarke told them what happened and before they could reject her again she said

"I want him to suffer. He needs to pay and I know that it's not okay for him to keep doing these things to people. I want him hurt and broken and I want you to help me do that."

Murphy smiled devilishly but Mbege was stoic and hard to read which made Clarke uneasy. They were silent for a bit and when Mbege started to speak Murphy cut him off. 

"Now before we agree to this job there are certain things you need to be made aware of. Certain rules that need to be followed. There's also a contract that has to be signed. If you agree to and are okay with it we'll get you your revenge."

"What do I need to know?"

Murphy and Mbege went over all the specifics and rules that Clarke absolutely had to abide by. Once Clarke agreed to everything they handed her a contract to read over and sign. The contract was pretty standard and after getting clarification on a few things, she was ready to sign but just as she was about to, Murphy stopped her. 

"One more thing, Princess. Once you sign this you can't stop the revenge at any point, for any reason or you tell him about the revenge, you will be the next person we use our talents on. Are we clear?"

Clarke nodded, a little taken aback by the coldness of his voice and eyes but signed the contract. Satisfied that everything was in order, Mbege who hadn't spoken since Clarke had arrived finally spoke. 

"Now about our fee. We charge 500 up front and if it takes longer than a month we charge an additional 100 dollars for every 2 days afterward. Then when the job is done we get the other 500."

"You changed Raven 800 total for hers. Why is mine so expensive?" Clarke states feeling conned.

"The fee is service based and given the nature of the person the revenge is for, it's higher."

"You see Princess, Blake a player who from what you've told us is emotionally closed off and doesn't care who he hurts. It's because of this that we have to take a more in depth approach to the revenge. In short, in order to break him we have to make him feel something which takes planning and finesse, hence the price difference." Murphy elaborates. 

"So either pay up or deal with him yourself."

Clarke sighed but agreed because she needed him to feel the pain she'd felt. Yet when she reached in her pocket to pay them she realized she only had 20 dollars cash. 

"Is there any way I can pay you tomorrow? I only have 20 in cash on me at the moment."

"You got a credit or debit card on you? We can scan the card and be all paid up."

Before she can even question how, Murphy pulls out a card reader that he attaches to his phone and says

"It'll appear on your statement as J & J Enterprises and don't worry about the company being a fake because it's totally legit. So we good, Princess?"

"Stop calling me Princess." Clarke says as she hands her debit card over for them to scan. 

She punches in her pin and when it goes through they smile and say

"We're all good. We'll be in touch if we need your help but the main thing you need to do is continue on with things as you normally would and don't treat him any different or it could raise suspicion."

"Pleasure doing business with you, now get the hell out." Mbege said practically pushing her out the door. 

They were definitely a strange pair. The first time she'd met them the shorter one irked her in a way that made her want to scream but this time it was the other one. However given the fact that she'd obviously interrupted something, she couldn't much blame him for acting the way he did. She made her way back to her car, noticing that Raven and Octavia were still in the restaurant. As soon as she got home she collapsed on the bed and was soon asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mbege voices his concern and the team is briefed on the job.

Murphy and Mbege instantly started arguing once Clarke was gone. Mbege was pissed and Murphy knew it but he didn't feel like arguing so he listened to Mbege rant and rave without saying a word. When he finally stopped to take a breath, Murphy spoke. 

"You done cuz I'd really like to get some sleep?"

Mbege stared at him dumbfounded for a second before punching Murphy in the face. The punch wasn't a shock nor was Mbege taking him to the floor as he continued to shout at him about how stupid taking this job was. When Murphy tired to move, Mbege pushed his legs together and pinned his arms to the floor above his head, stopping all movement. 

Murphy couldn't help but be aroused by it all and when Mbege leaned down to yell at him some more, Murphy raised his head up to crash their lips together. Soon Mbege loosened his grip which allowed Murphy to roll him over so that he was on top as they continued kissing. They never made it back upstairs but neither was complaining and as they lay there after, Mbege wasn't angry anymore. Murphy knew he was still concerned so he tried to reassure him. 

"It'll be okay. We'll treat this like any other job and if it gets to be too much for me, I'll take a step back for a bit. I can handle this, so quit worrying about it, okay?"

"Okay. I trust you on this so don't disappoint me."

"I won't."

Mbege smiled as Murphy drifted off to sleep and prayed that things would be okay because this job was a time bomb waiting to explode. He just hoped that when it did Murphy wasn't too close. That morning Murphy and Mbege gathered Jasper, Monty, Monroe and Miller so that they could be briefed on the job. 

Jasper and Monty handled the technical and chemical side of things for every job they've done in the last 5 years. They had met Murphy and Mbege in lock up when they had vandalized a home and had to stay overnight in jail since the magistrate wouldn't be in till morning where Jasper and Monty were already waiting. 

Since they were the only ones in the cell, they struck up a conversation and found out that they were in trouble for hacking a secured mainframe, changing a few things and manufacturing. They were only 16 but seeing their potential, Murphy and Mbege pulled a few strings and got them released with a fine and a few hundred hours of community service. 

It wasn't hard for them to swing it since Miller's dad was the police chief and his mom was a lawyer. They'd known Miller since they were 7 so it was only natural that he'd be a part of things from the beginning and Monroe just showed up 4 years ago and never left. 

Once phase one of the plan was laid out and everyone knew their part, Murphy headed upstarts to shower for work. He hated having a real job but it helped account for the nice house and car so people didn't ask too many questions. As soon as Mbege heard the shower running he filled the team in on why this job was so different from the others and needed to be handled with care and caution.

"So we need to be extra careful in handling things?"

"Does it have anything to do with why Murphy is acting a bit distant and strange?" Monroe asks and Mbege had to smile because even though she'd been with them the shortest amount of time she still in some ways knew them better than anyone else.

"It does. This job is special. It's not simply a revenge for a client it's a..."

"Revenge for him." Miller interrupts and Mbege nods. 

"So who exactly is this guy and why are we even doing this job? Isn't the point of this to not be attached? If this is personal we can't do it." Monty inquires. 

"Then you tell him that cuz I've already tried and it didn't end well."

"He's made up his mind Monty and like it or not we're doing this job."

"Miller's right. So we take it slow and handle things with care on this one, okay?"

They all nod in agreement as Mbege dismisses them but Miller and Monroe stay behind. Monroe takes one of the pictures of Bellamy and looks at it. 

"So this is him, huh? He's cute."

"Yeah but unfortunately he's a complete asshole." Miller states. 

"So he's exactly Murphy's type then, isn't he?"

"Something like that." Mbege replied and the look on his face told Monroe to drop it, so she did. 

"If he needs a distraction just tell him to call me, okay?" She said with a smile as she left the house. 

Miller stayed behind waiting for Murphy to leave because unlike Monroe he wasn't gonna drop it that easily. When Murphy came downstairs for work and left without saying a word to either of them, they became worried. 

"It's him, isn't it? He's the one who started all this, right? This one's gonna break him, isn't it?"

"Not if we don't let it. I swore after that day I'd protect him from it ever happening again but this job will change things, I know it. It's gonna change him and I don't know if he'll ever be the same."

"So what do we do?" Miller questions. 

"Not let him fall. It's the only thing we can do and pray our business survives this one."

"Let me know if you need anything extra or if he just needs to get drunk and smash a few things so I can warn my parents."

Miller leaves and Mbege thinks that maybe getting drunk and smashing something was exactly what Murphy needed to get his focus back. However deep down he knew that the promise of booze and fights wasn't enough or what he needed because what Murphy needed wasn't something he could give him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy gets a distraction from Monroe and then has a drunken mini breakdown.

Murphy went through the day in a daze almost and as a result remembered very little of it. He knew he hadn't snapped at someone or punched them because his boss wasn't yelling at him but it bugged him how she always seemed to know when something was wrong. So when she gave him the rest of the week off to sort out his shit, he wasn't surprised. What surprised him was when she called Mbege, telling him what she'd done and that she was worried about him. 

Mbege tried to get him to forget about the job, if only for tonight when he got home but Murphy wasn't having it. This job needed to be done as quickly as possible so he could get back to his life like it was before. Miller came over later on and tired to get Murphy to join him and Mbege but he wasn't in the mood so they left. Of course it was only after being threatened with bodily harm if they didn't. 

He sat in the silence of the house for a bit until his thoughts began to wonder and overwhelm him causing him to call Monroe for a much needed distraction. She, of course was glad to help and even brought a bottle of Monty's signature shine. The stuff was harsh as hell but it did the job better than anything else on the market and quicker too. Both of which Murphy desperately needed. 

Unfortunately before the alcohol made you forget, it brought it all flooding back and made you spill it to anyone willing to listen. Thankfully Monroe was the type to listen, comfort if needed and never speak of it again. Although it still didn't change the fact that he told her everything. Just as Monroe was about to walk out the door, Mbege returns from his night with Miller. 

"Have fun?" She asks. 

"Did you?" He counters.

"Always do with Murphy."

"Is he good?" He asks concerned. 

"He told me everything and I'm sure he could use another distraction so maybe you can help him out with that. Oh and he's drunk."

"Is he happy drunk or..."

"Well he was happy but it's hard to tell now so good luck."

Mbege nodded, took a deep breath and made his way upstairs to find Murphy, prepared for whatever drunk Murphy was waiting for him. Mbege opens his door to find him in the corner with an empty bottle and sighs because he's emotional drunk which isn't far from angry or sad drunk, none of which are easy to deal with. When he walks into the room, Murphy looks up at him with tears in his eyes and all Mbege can think is, shit it's gonna be a long night. 

"You don't think I'm worthless, do you? I mean you've...you've known me longer than anyone and you still...you still like me, right? You do...you do like me, right?" He slurs. 

"Murph, I wouldn't still be here I didn't. You're like a brother to me."

Murphy started laughing, running his hand down Mbege's face before he responded. 

"You don't...you don't fuck your brother unless...Is there something you ain't telling me?"

"You know what I meant but you are the best fuck I've ever had."

"I know I am." He says with a smile as he tries for the fourth time to take a drink from the empty bottle in his hands. 

Mbege wonders how much longer it will take to piss him off and he becomes an angry drunk. 

"You'd never...never leave me, right? You...you'll stay for...forever, won't you?" Murphy says as tears begin to fall and Mbege sits beside him to pull him close. 

"I'll never leave you, unless you make me and even then I'd put up a fight."

"Then why did...why did he? Why wasn't...wasn't I good enough for him? Why did...why did he ri...rip my soul apart and why...why is he back?"

And there it was, the real reason Murphy was emotional, Bellamy. It always led back to Bellamy and as he tired once again to drink from the empty bottle, Mbege knew his anger was coming. The bottle is hurled across the room as Murphy suddenly stands up, picks Mbege up and slams him against the wall. Mbege is pinned to the wall in a vice like grip as Murphy yells at him. 

"Why doesn't he love me?! Why aren't I good enough?! Why doesn't he care?! Why? Why?!"

With every sentence he spoke he slammed Mbege against the wall but he'd been here before and knew the best thing to do was wait his anger out, no matter the consequences. His anger subsided about 45 minutes later when he ran to the bathroom to hurl. Mbege followed and made sure he had everything he needed to shower and sober up before bed. He didn't bother looking at what Murphy may have done to him because right now his priority was Murphy and everything else could wait. 

Once he was done vomiting, Mbege helped him get undressed and in the shower. He got ready for bed himself and then checked on Murphy to make sure he was okay. When he got in the shower, he sat in the tub and let the water run over him, not wanting to move. He wished the water would wash away all his pain but he knew nothing could ever do that. 

After Mbege checked on him, he finally decides to take a shower and boy did he wish he hadn't. As the alcohol started to wear off some he remembered everything he'd tried so hard to forget for the last 7 years and as the water ran over his body, the memories of him and Bellamy came with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will give you some info on Bellamy and Murphy's past.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy remembers when him and Bellamy first met.

He met Bellamy at a party when he was 15. He wasn't sure who Bellamy knew to be invited since he was obviously a few years older and frankly he didn't really care because he was gorgeous. Miller and Mbege were arguing about something that he honestly didn't give a shit about so he headed into the kitchen to get a drink and there he was, leaning against the counter talking to some girl. 

He whispered something in her ear that caused her to giggle and leave the room so that now it was just the two of them. Murphy tried not to stare, he really did but the alcohol and the way he was standing made it impossible. To make matters worse, he couldn't find a cup for his drink which the guy must have noticed because he soon heard a rather gruff "here" followed by a cup being handed to him over his shoulder. 

He turns around to thank him and comes face to face with the guy who's staring at him. The closeness throws him a bit as does his brown eyes that almost seem to be hiding something and he stutters a bit. 

"Oh...uh...thanks."

He continues to stare as Murphy pours his drink and just as he's about to say something the guy speaks.

"So that girl I was talking to when you walked in, do you know her?"

"No, not really. Why?"

"Well, I saw you roll your eyes like you didn't approve. Is there something you know that I don't?"

He couldn't believe the guy had noticed that or that he had rolled his eyes because he didn't remember doing it but maybe he did. He didn't know why he would though but before he could think about it further, he's brought back to reality by a snapping sound and the guy talking to him. 

"You okay? You seem kinda spacey or is it cuz of the alcohol?" He asks seemingly concerned. 

"Sorry. Got a little lost in my thoughts."

"It happens, so anyways about that girl I was talking too. What's wrong with her?"

"Nothing. She's fine. I'm sure you'll have lots of fun." He replied sarcastically. 

"Why do I get the feeling you're lying to me?" The guy asks looking at him intently. 

"Why are you talking to me when you could be upstairs banging that girl or any other girl at this party for that matter?" He questions a bit harsher than he intended but the guy was getting to him somehow. 

"Because maybe what I'm interested in isn't upstairs or a girl." The guy states matter-of-factly, not bothered by his harshness. 

He just stared at him, speechless. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. It had to be the alcohol because there was no way he was serious or was he? He was so confused until the guy's laugh cuts through his thoughts and brings him back. 

"Relax man. I'm just messing with you. So, what's the problem with the girl, seriously? I want the truth."

"She kinda a slut. She'll let anything stick their dick in her and it doesn't have to be one at a time either."

"You know that from experience or hearsay?"

"Neither really. One of my friends wanted to hit it but she'd only do it if my other friend joined them and I watched which is what happened."

"Did it get you hard?" The guy asks completely serious and he's had enough. 

"What the fuck kinda question is that? What the fuck is wrong with you?" He snaps angrily. 

"It's an honest question and that's still up for debate but I appreciate your honesty."

"Really? You appreciate my honesty? Well then you're gonna love what I have to say next. Quit acting like you're God's gift to everything and open your damn eyes. You're a 20 year old at a high school party which means one of 2 things: you're either a fucking loser who needs to quit living in the past and move on with your life or you're a pathetic loser who has to stoop to seducing high school girls cuz the ones your age aren't falling for your bullshit anymore but either way you're still a loser."

The guy laughs, he actually laughs and it confuses him. He shouldn't be laughing, he should be offended but the guy seems unfazed by his words. 

"I like you. You speak you're mind and you're unafraid of the consequences which is sorta rare. I'm Bellamy, Bellamy Blake." He said extending his hand to him which he reluctantly shook.

"Murphy, John Murphy." He introduced himself as well. 

"Well Murphy you're not wrong but you're not exactly right either so...what?" Bellamy questions when he sees the shocked look on Murphy's face. 

"Nothing it's just...You called me Murphy. Most would have called me John because it's my first name."

"It's the first name you gave me which means it's the one you go by, so that's what I called you."

Before he could respond Miller and Mbege give him the let's go now signal which Bellamy caught as well. 

"I'm guessing that means you gotta go, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. It's been interesting and hopefully before the night's over you can find someone better suited for your tastes."

"I think I already have." Bellamy says quietly as he watches Murphy leave not realizing that he had heard him. 

A few seconds later he comes back into the kitchen wanting to ask Bellamy what he'd meant but decides to wait because there was something more important he needed to say. 

"Look, you should go, like now. Just get in your car, walk, call a cab or a friend, anything just as long as you're gone in the next 30 minutes."

Bellamy opens his mouth to speak but he quickly cuts him off and says

"Don't ask why just trust me and do it. Be gone and away from here in the next 30 minutes, okay?"

Murphy leaves without another word but the urgency in his voice makes Bellamy do what he says and when they find each other again a few days later they exchange numbers. They hang out a few times which leads to them dating which then leads to Bellamy being his first and he couldn't of been happier until he wasn't. 

A year later it was over and he was devastated. Bellamy had taught him a lot in their time together but the most important and most useful was when he left. When Bellamy left he learned that love was the worst thing in the world. It made you weak, vulnerable and ripped you apart. It betrayed you because it gave you hope when you had it but when it was gone, it destroyed you in every way possible. 

He had learned early that love was pain and suffering but Bellamy had managed to change that and then shattered his already broken heart into a million pieces. The worst part about it all was that when you actually and truly found love, it forever controlled you. 

After his shower Murphy stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror hating himself. He hated himself because no matter what he did, he still loved Bellamy and that love had inadvertently dictated the rest of the relationships in his life. He was cold, unfeeling and unemotional except for when he was drunk and it was all because of Bellamy. 

Murphy suddenly slams his fist into the mirror and keeps slamming it until Mbege stops him. Mbege cleans and bandages Murphy's hand before putting him to bed but as he's leaving Murphy speaks.

"You deserve better than me. You deserve someone who will love you like you love me because we both know I'm not it and I never will be."

"That's the thing about love, though you don't choose it, it chooses you and for better or worse I love you Murphy." Mbege says as he crawls into the bed beside him. 

"I know and I wish I loved you back but I don't. Not like that anyways."

"I know and it's okay."

"No it's not. It's not okay at all. Quit wasting your time with me and find someone who truly loves you." Murphy says moving closer to Mbege. 

"Can't and I won't because whether you love me or not you need me and I need you. So we're stuck with each other."

"Love sucks."

"Yes it does. Now get some sleep."

"I can't do this Mbege, not with him."

"I know but I'll help you so you won't be alone this time." Mbege says as he runs his fingers through Murphy's wet hair.

"You're the best." Murphy says sleepily. 

"I know." 

Mbege smiled as he heard Murphy lightly snoring in his arms and soon fell asleep himself.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy proves to be a bigger problem than anyone ever thought he'd be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda slacked on proofreading do if there's any mistakes I'm sorry.

The following morning the team put Murphy's plans into effect without him. Mbege and him had decided that after last night's events it was best if he wasn't involved. His plans were solid though and as long as everyone did their part there shouldn't be any problems. However none of them expected Bellamy to be the biggest obstacle to their plans. 

They had managed to run through all of Murphy's plans, save one with virtually no success. Hemorrhagic fever was their last resort and one they only used when they were desperate which they were. The fever was always risky because it was highly contagious but they never used things like that without an antidote. Mbege reluctantly gave the okay to use the fever because short of having Murphy create new plans, it was all they had left. 

The fever landed Bellamy in the hospital and thankfully they were able to keep it from becoming an epidemic which would have caused major problems. Bellamy and one other person were the only ones effected by it but the results were interesting to say the least. While Bellamy was in the hospital every girl and guy that he had been with and was still with occasionally, except for Clarke showed up in his room to see him. 

The police had to be called to the hospital at least 8 times in a 6 hour period to break up fights and arguments that had broken out due to them finally learning the truth about Bellamy and each other. It would have worked and it should have worked but Bellamy didn't seem to give a shit about them knowing the truth. It actually seemed like he was relieved that they all knew and he no longer had to keep up the charade. 

With every plan failing miserably they decided to hold a meeting to figure out what to do next because if they couldn't come up with something soon, they were gonna have to give up which wasn't an option. 

"We've been at this for a month and all we've managed to do is make it so the only person left he can turn to is Clarke. This isn't working, Mbege." Miller says frustrated. 

"Miller's right. We need Murphy because just having his plans isn't enough." Monroe agreed. 

"Maybe we shouldn't even be using his plans. Maybe it's time for something different. We need something to make him feel and until we have that, we're not competing this job." Monty suggests. 

They all sit in silence for a bit because none of them wanted to say what needed to be said until Monroe spoke up. 

"You know what, this is bullshit! We're all fucking thinking it so I'm gonna go ahead and say it, we use Murphy. He's the only variable we haven't factored into this yet and..."

"For good reason Monroe. A reason that you already know." Mbege interrupts. 

"And it's exactly the reason he needs to this. We put Murphy in and if we get somewhere, great but if not, we cut or losses and move on." Monroe counters. 

"No! I'm not putting him through that." He shouts. 

"Mbege, you know she's ri..." Miller begins but is cut off by Mbege who's not even entertaining the idea. 

"Don't Miller. You of all people know just as well as I do why it's a fucking bad idea. We're not doing it and that's final!"

Mbege had put his foot down and the others knew the discussion about Murphy was over. However Murphy, who had been upstairs listening, knew they were right and takes a deep breath before walking downstairs. 

"Monroe's right. Put me in." Murphy says, his voice cutting through the silence and startling everyone. 

Mbege if course disagreed. 

"No. I'm not...You're not ready for..."

"It's been 7 years, Mbege, if I'm not ready by now I'll never be ready and I need to do this. I've been haunted by the ghost of Bellamy Blake long enough. I can do this." Murphy states. 

"What if you can't or Monroe's wrong? What then?" Mbege asks concerned. 

"We cut our losses and apologize to Clarke for not being able to give her the revenge she wanted. We also don't charge her for any extra time if we fail." 

"So what's the plan?" Monroe asks. 

"Murph, I..."

"I've got this Mbege, I do. So trust me, okay?"

"Okay, okay. So how do we do this?" Mbege asks finally giving up arguing with him because he knew it was pointless. 

Murphy lays out his idea and Mbege has to admit it's good but he's still worried about putting Murphy back in Bellamy's cross-hairs after so long. Once everyone knew what they had to do, they left and since it was late, Murphy and Mbege wait until morning to call Clarke about the new plan. However Mbege doesn't wait when it comes to questioning Murphy about getting involved. 

"This is a bad idea, Murphy. I know it's been 7 years but I know you and I know you still love him. I also know I can't stop you so just be careful and remember what he did to you."

"I've never forgotten and I'll be fine. I'm a professional, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah. If you say so. Let's get some sleep cuz I have a feeling the next few days are gonna be long ones."

In the morning they called Clarke and filled her in on what was happening. She seemed unsure of it all, especially when she was told where it was all going down because she knew that Bellamy would be at the restaurant with Octavia, his sister. Murphy reassured her that this was the best way to go about things and if they failed she owed them nothing more. After a little more convincing, she agreed and the date, so to speak was set for Saturday night which gave them both 2 days to prepare. 

On Saturday night, Murphy picked Clarke up at her house and she was obviously nervous, so on the way to the restaurant Murphy helped her out. Murphy told her that if she needed to step away at anytime, it was okay and he'd completely understand. 

"You seem like you've done this before." She says because he looks so at ease with everything. 

"Once or twice. It's a cake walk really, so just relax and follow my lead, okay?"

"I'm so glad you're so calm and collected. It's actuary making me feel better." Clarke says seemingly calmer than before. 

"It's what I do." He replies when in reality he's anything but calm and collected. 

In fact he was a nervous wreck, he was just really good at hiding it. Once inside the restaurant, Clarke breathes a sigh of relief when she doesn't see either Bellamy or Octavia but it's short lived because they walk in a few seconds later. A second or two after they sit down, Octavia sees Clarke and turns to inform her brother.

"Clarke's here and she appears to be on a date."

"What? Where?" He asks looking around. 

"To your left, 2 tables over. I can't tell who the guy is though."

Bellamy looks at the table for a second and doesn't need to see their face to know exactly who it is, their profile is enough. 

"You've got to be fucking kidding me. It can't be him. It can't be." Bellamy says in disbelief.

"He who? Wait, who is...? No way." Octavia says smiling when she realizes who it is and takes a few jabs at her brother. 

"Well isn't that interesting. I wonder if they're bonding over their mutual betrayal by you?"

"That's not funny, O."

"It kinda is, Bell. I mean shit, it had to happen sometime, right?"

"But why'd it have to be him? And why is he with her?"

"I could ask him. I'm sure he'd be willing to..." She starts but Bellamy cuts her off. 

"No! Don't, O. Please don't."

Clarke notices them looking in their direction and begins to panic a bit. 

"She's looking at us, what do we do?"

"Invite her over."

"What? No. Why?" Clarke asks confused. 

"Relax and trust me, okay? Wave her over."

Clarke takes a deep breath, nods and waves Octavia over the next time she looks their way. Bellamy in the meantime is lost in his thoughts. It had been 7 years since he'd seen Murphy and when he does, he's with her. Why was he with Clarke? What did Clarke have that he didn't, aside from Murphy? He's snapped out of his thoughts by Octavia laughing. 

"What? What's so funny?"

"Nothing, big brother. Nothing at all. I'll be right back." She says with a smile that has him worried about what she might do and when she walks over to Clarke and Murphy's table, he's definitely worried. When she reaches their table she immediately starts talking. 

"Please tell me you're on a date and you two aren't just friends."

"We meet a couple of weeks ago and yes, we're on a date." Clarke manages to say without much hesitation. 

"That's great! So you're happy, right? He treats you good?" She asks Clarke, ignoring Murphy. 

"I'm sitting right here, you know and to answer your questions, I keep her very satisfied."

The comment causes Clarke to blush some as Octavia continues talking.

"Well, isn't that interesting? Why don't you join me and my brother for dinner? I'm sure he'd love to hear about how happy and satisfied you are."

Clarke turns to Murphy unsure if she should except the offer or not, who simply smiles and says

"It's up to you, Princess. If you want to join then we can but only if you want to."

Clarke thinks about it for a second before telling their waiter that they would be joining Octavia's table and follows her over. After all this was why they were here, so why waste the opportunity. When Bellamy sees Clarke and Murphy walking towards his table he seriously begins to think about hightailing it out of there as quickly as possible. 

"Well this is awkward." Clarke says nervously as she sits down.

"Why? Am I missing something?" Murphy replies playing it off like he has no clue what she's talking about. 

"Don't worry about it, Hon. It's not important." Clarke tells him and Bellamy cringes in disgust at the use of the nickname. 

"Oh c'mon Clarke, be honest with him. Don't want to start a relationship off on lies, do you?" Octavia chimes in earning a death stare from both Clarke and her brother, who didn't miss the obvious jab at him.

Clarke caves with a sigh when she sees the urging look on Murphy's face.

"Me and Bellamy used to date."

"Oh. So I take it, it didn't end well." Murphy asks feigning curiosity. 

"My brother's an asshole who's only ever loved one person besides me, his entire life but he'd never admit that to anyone." Octavia states. 

Seeing the look on Clarke's face at Octavia's comment has Murphy deciding to turn up the sickeningly sweet boyfriend shit and take an obvious jab at Bellamy's relationship issues as well. 

"Did he cheat on you, babe?" He asks, full of concern as he grabs Clarke's hand causing her to blush before he gently turns her face towards his and kisses her. 

"I'd never do that to you, sweetheart. Never." He continues, causing Bellamy to excuse himself from the table as fast as possible. 

"Well that was rude. I hope I didn't overstep my bounds."

"Don't worry about it. He deserves it, doesn't he Clarke?"

"He kinda does, yeah but can we please just enjoy the rest of dinner without any more issues?" 

"If you want we can go back to our table or go somewhere else. It's up to you, I don't wanna make you anyone uncomfortable than you already are. I can tell his presence bothers you." Murphy says noticing Clarke's discomfort with everything.

"No. I mean it does but it's fine. I can do this and you're here, so it helps." 

"Oh my God, you guys are so cute. I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Shut up, loser. It's no worse than you and Lincoln, so I don't wanna hear it."Clarke shoots back. 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Octavia's phone goes off and as she checks it, the mood instantly shifts because she's obviously annoyed at what she sees. 

"What's wrong?" Clarke asks. 

"Bellamy bailed. He's giving me some bullshit excuse about being sick and needing to go but regardless he's not coming back which means I'm stuck with the bill because he was supposed to be paying."

"What an ass! I'm sorry O." 

"I'll pay for you. I mean since your brother stiffed you with the check, I'll cover it." Murphy offers. 

"I can't let you do that and I have money, so it's fine." Octavia says not sure if she should be flattered at his offer or worried. 

"Nonsense. I'm paying and that's final." He insists. 

Octavia nods, accepting his offer to pay and a while later when Clarke excuses herself to go to the bathroom, she takes the opportunity to question Murphy. 

"What the hell kinda game you playing, Murphy? And why the hell is my friend involved?"

"She came to me for help, so chill out."

"Why? What's going on, Murphy? The truth or I swear I will tell her everything about you and Bellamy." Octavia demands.

"How do you know she doesn't already know?"

"Because I know Clarke and more importantly, I know you, so talk."

"Dammit Octavia, I can't."

"I'm waiting Murphy. You know I'm not bluffing and I will tell her when she gets back." Octavia stares him down and he knows it's no use, she's won. 

"Son of a bitch! You damn Blakes are stubborn fuckers. If I tell you, you can't repeat a word of it, to anyone, okay? Swear to me, Octavia."

"Okay, I get it. Jeez. I swear I won't say anything, now spill."

"I run a revenge for hire business. People come to us to get the revenge they can't which we do, for a fee of course. Clarke came to us looking for revenge on Bellamy, so here I am."

"And Clarke had no idea yo two have a history, does she?"

"No and you can't tell her." He says a little panicked. 

"So is this personal or is it just a job?"

"I'd be lying if I said I'm not gonna get some satisfaction it of this but I'm trying to keep it as professional as possible."

"I hope you know what you're doing." Octavia says seemingly concerned. 

"So do I. So do I." He says unsure himself. 

Clarke came back before Octavia could question him any further and the rest of the dinner was quite pleasant.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy remembers when he first met Murphy.

While Clarke, Murphy, and Octavia were having a good time, Bellamy wasn't. As soon as he got home, he grabbed a bottle of liquor from the cabinet and started drinking because he knew O would have plenty to say to him for leaving her which he really didn't feel like hearing. 

The more he drank, trying to wash away the memories of Murphy, the more they came flooding back until he was overwhelmed and all he could think about was when he first met Murphy. It was 8 years ago outside of TonDC High school, he was picking up Octavia when he saw a bloody kid pacing back and forth. As he starts to walk inside, he sees 2 other boys running towards the bloody kid. They talked in hushed tones that he couldn't really hear but just before he enters the school he hears the bloody kid say

"The sorry fucker deserved what he got! I just wish he wasn't still breathing."

When he walked back out with Octavia, the kid was in handcuffs and being placed in a police car. He asked Octavia about what happened when they got in the car and she shrugged saying

"That kid nearly beat another kid to death for no reason."

"C'mon, O, people don't just nearly kill someone for no reason."

"Well, if he had one, I don't know what it was. Why do you wanna know?" She asked getting suspicious. 

"Just curious."

Truth be told he was a little more than curious. There was something about him that he just couldn't put his finger on and seeing him all bloody and beaten like that was kinda hot. A few days later he picked her up again and hoped to run into the kid but he was nowhere around. He wondered if he was in Juvie or jail because of the fight but didn't ask O because he knew based on her reaction the last time he mentioned the kid, they ran in different circles. 

When Friday rolled around and his mom made him go to a stupid party with O, he thought it'd be a complete waste of time which for the most part it was. He was in the kitchen talking to some girl who he really wasn't listening to when he saw the kid walk in. He was no longer bloody or beaten but still just as attractive with the most amazing blue eyes. 

He whispered to the girl so she'd go away and he could talk to the kid alone. He was a bit abrasive and just a bit nervous which Bellamy found refreshing, especially when he practically choked on his drink when he mentioned possibly being interested in someone who wasn't a girl. He played it off as a joke,of course but later hit a nerve when he asked if watching a girl getting fucked by his 2 friends got him hard.

The kid's reaction was expected but then he got brutally honest about what he thought of him which made him want nothing more than to bend the kid over the counter and fuck him but maybe that was just the alcohol talking. He would of loved to have stayed and talked to the kid for the rest of the night but before he could get anymore than his name, the 2 guys from school showed up and ushered him out. 

However Murphy comes back a bit later basically pleading for him to be gone in the next 30 minutes which he did and thankfully missed the cops that raided the party. He managed to find Murphy again a few days later and after thanking him for the heads up, they exchanged numbers. They hung out a few times after and a week later they were together. Bellamy was happy until he wasn't and a year later Murphy was gone. 

He finished the bottle and smashed it against the wall before grabbing another one. He knocked over a few things in the process but he didn't care because Murphy was back and with Clarke. Why Clarke? Why...? He couldn't think straight and he was glad because it meant the alcohol was finally doing it's job but it's short lived because O comes barreling through the door, pissed off. 

\-------------

Once dinner was over, Murphy dropped Clarke off at her place and went home where Mbege was waiting up for him. Murphy plops down on the couch beside him and is handed a glass of bourbon as Mbege waits patiently for him to talk. 

"He left. I played the good and caring boyfriend perfectly and he couldn't handle it. He left before even ordering food. Mbege it was amazing. He finally felt something. I think we're gonna be okay with this one from here on out."

"Well that's a relief, I guess. So we move to phase 2, then?"

"Absolutely. His face, Mbege it was priceless. The pain in his eyes...we got him."

"It's a start. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, okay? We take it one plan at a time like we always do but I'm glad things turned out so well. You going to bed or..."

"I'll be up in a few. I need to calm down a bit first."

Mbege nods and heads upstairs while Murphy relaxes by the fire.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia imparts some sisterly wisdom on Bellamy and he tries to follow it but things don't go as planned.

While Murphy was relaxing Bellamy wasn't being cut any slack, drunk or not. Octavia started yelling about leaving her with the check as soon as she stepped through the door but once she saw the broken bottle, the kitchen and the half empty bottle in his hands, she changed her approach. 

She took the bottle from him, pouring the rest down the drain before sitting beside him and waiting. She'd only found him this way once before and knew that when he wanted to he'd talk. They sit in silence for a few minutes until Bellamy lays his head on her shoulder and says

"Why did I have to fuck things up? Why do I always fuck things up?"

"I can't answer that cuz I'm not you, Bell. You know what you did and you know how to fix it. So if that's what you want then do it."

"It's not that easy. There's so much you don't know."

"I know love when I see it, Bell. You two had something real and genuine that most people hope their whole lives for, so get it back."

"How? I don't even...how do I do that?"

"First you need to sober up and then you be honest. Completely honest, not that half truth shit you like to spit cuz that's not gonna cut it."

"What if they don't want me anymore? What do I do then?"

"You move on and hope you find someone just as special."

"But there's no one else that special."

"Then get up off your ass, quit moping around and do any and everything necessary to get them back. You're the only one who can, so do it."

"You'll still love me, right?"

"You're my brother, Bell of course I will."

She feels him nod against her shoulder and a few seconds later she hears his soft snoring. She sighs as she slowly gets up, gently laying him down on the couch before covering him up and cleaning up his mess. It never ceased to amaze her how something as simple as love could turn grown men into helpless children who question everything they do and it was times like that that she wondered if she had a younger brother instead of an older one. 

Before she locks the door and heads home, she leaves him a note saying

"If you truly love them then you'll fight for them, no matter the cost."

Bellamy woke up to a raging headache and a mission after reading Octavia's note which causes the events of last night to come back to him. Murphy woke refreshed and ready to implement phase 2 of their revenge against Bellamy. Murphy and Clarke discussed all the events that Clarke needed to be at that required the presence of a caring and supportive boyfriend which he was for the time being. 

For the coming week he had 3 things he needed to be at and a party on Friday night. He decided to throw in a few appearances at her job with flowers and food just to make things even sweeter. Bellamy would be at the party for sure and at least one of the 3 things he was supposed to be at with Clarke. Mbege was still worried about things but he trusted Murphy and he'd be there in the background the whole time, just in case.

Clarke's first two appearances went very well with no Bellamy in sight but the third didn't go as smoothly. Murphy didn't stray far from Clarke until she asked him to grab her a drink and being the good boyfriend that he was pretending to be, got it for her. Unfortunately Bellamy was there and had been waiting for an opportunity to talk to Murphy alone so when he saw him far enough from Clarke, he took it. 

"Hi, Murph. It's been a while."

Murphy held his breath when he heard Bellamy's voice behind him and debated ignoring it but then he reminded himself that he could do this, so without turning around, he answered him. 

"Bellamy. Yes it has but if you'll excuse me I need to get back to my girlfriend now."

He of course emphasized the my girlfriend part as he walked past him and headed back towards Clarke. However as he was passing him Bellamy said

"You look good, Murph."

"Yep, sure do." He replied as he kept walking.

Murphy didn't look at him because Bellamy would have seen the smile on his face and he wouldn't have been able to fight the urge to tell him the same because Bellamy always looked good. Mbege who had been watching and holding his breath the entire time breathed a sigh of relief when he was back at Clarke's side. He knew Murphy wasn't ready for an extended conversation with Bellamy yet and hoped that was the last of their interactions for the night but Bellamy wasn't about to give up so soon. 

Bellamy waited until he saw Murphy head into the bathroom and followed soon after. Mbege had looked away for two seconds to check a text message and when he looked back up both Bellamy and Murphy were nowhere to be seen. He kicked himself for taking his eyes off either of them and knew if something happened Murphy wouldn't be happy which meant he'd have a very rough night. 

Murphy didn't pay any attention to the bathroom door opening but visibly tensed when he heard Bellamy's voice. 

"So you and Clarke, huh? That's interesting. How long you been together?"

Murphy quickly texts Mbege with "toilet, help" before turning around to answer him. 

"Why is that interesting? Didn't think someone like her would ever go for someone like me? Cuz you did, once. About a week and a half, not that it's any of your business. Any other questions you wanna ask? If I didn't know any better I'd say you were jealous but that's impossible because Bellamy Blake doesn't get jealous, does he?"

"So nice to know that some things never change. Glad you're still as sarcastic and abrasive as ever. So I..." 

He's suddenly cut off by the bathroom door opening and Mbege walking in with a way for Murphy to get out as quickly as possible. 

"Hey Murph, Clarke's looking for you. I think she's ready to go."

Murphy doesn't say a word as he walks past both Mbege and Bellamy to find Clarke. He was so glad Mbege came when he did because there was no way he would have lasted too much longer alone with him. Mbege didn't follow him out and instead stayed behind to have a few words with Bellamy.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy and Mbege have a little talk and Octavia has a plan to help Bellamy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't feel like proofreading before I posted this so sorry for any mistakes.

Mbege blocked the door so Bellamy couldn't leave until he'd said what needed to be said. 

"He's moved on, so why don't you just stop. He's happy, so don't ruin it."

"What if I want him back?"

"Just stop! You can't come back after 7 years and expect things to go back to the way they were before. Leave Murphy alone or the next time we meet it won't be so pleasant."

Mbege begins to leave the bathroom but pauses when Bellamy says

"I know he still loves me."

"Keep telling yourself that, Bellamy."

Mbege leaves the bathroom and takes his position in the background until Murphy and Clarke leave. He waits a few minutes after they leave before leaving himself. He wanted to make sure Bellamy didn't follow them. He then went back home and waited for Murphy because he wanted to know what was said between them before he arrived. 

However he had a feeling that he wouldn't be the only one who had something they needed to know. Mbege was home for about 10 minutes before he hears the door slam and Murphy start.

"Where the fuck were you?! You were supposed to be watching me! That was the whole damn point of you being there. Dammit Mbege! He had me fucking cornered!"

"I know. I'm sorry. I looked at my phone for like 2 seconds and when I looked up you were both gone."

"Your phone? Your God damn phone! That's your excuse? Shit, Mbege! Fuck!"

Murphy pushes him against the wall, pinning him and trying to figure out if he wanted to hit him or not but instead places his forehead on Mbege's shoulder.

"I need a drink. Tonight has been one huge mindfuck after another and I don't think I can do that party tomorrow."

"What exactly happened tonight? I get the feeling that Bellamy and the bathroom wasn't the only incident."

"Remember how I said I played the part of the caring, loving, supportive boyfriend perfectly? Well I think I played it too perfectly cuz she invited me in tonight."

"Really? What did you say?" 

"You better remove that smile before I remove it for you, Mbege cuz this shit ain't funny."

"It kinda is. So what did you tell her?"

"I told her I didn't think it was appropriate since she was a client and thankfully she seemed satisfied but I can't deal with all of this at one time."

"We'll deal with Clarke when we have to but right now we focus on Bellamy. What did you say to him before I got there?"

"I just questioned if he was jealous of me and Clarke. Why?"

"After you left we had words and he told me he knew you still loved him."

"I got a bit defensive but I don't think it was to that degree. If he's saying that then he's seen something to make him think that. What the hell do we do?" Murphy asks getting worried. 

"How about first you let me off of this wall so we can have that drink and then figure it out?"

"I thought you liked it when I pinned you to the wall."

"I do when I'm getting something in return but you just holding me here ain't doing shit for me." 

"What about this?" Murphy asks as he begins to bite, suck and lick Mbege's neck. 

"Is that doing anything for you?" 

"It's a start." Mbege replies as Murphy pushes closer to him and moves his hand down to rub Mbege's cock causing a gasp to escape his lips while Murphy continues to attack his neck. 

Murphy smiles as he says "how about that?"

"How about you quit teasing me and fucking do something?" He growls in frustration. 

"But I like teasing you because I can get you all hot and bothered and then walk away." He says with a devilish smile as he kisses Mbege. 

When Murphy feels Mbege's erection grow, he walks away but he doesn't get far because Mbege grabs him and pulls him in for a kiss. As they kiss Mbege returns the favor and begins rubbing Murphy's cock through his jeans causing a small moan and an erection. 

He then gently pushes Murphy away with a smile and says "you're right, teasing is fun" as he walks over to the bar and pours them both a drink. 

"That wasn't fair, you know that, right?" Murphy says with a huff. 

"Since when have either of us ever been fair?"

"Good point. I'm gonna shower. Meet me up there?" Murphy says as he downs the drink and heads upstairs.

The day of the party, Bellamy is in Octavia's living room freaking out and pacing back and forth while her and Lincoln try making sense of what he's saying. 

"I had him O. We were alone and talking, somewhat until Mbege had to ruin it. I finally had him away from Clarke, whose side he was practically glued to the whole night and that fucker has to ruin it. How can I talk to him if he's never alone long enough for me to even begin telling him the truth?"

"First things first, stop pacing and relax. You're making me wanna freak out just watching you."

She grabs him and sits him down on the couch while Lincoln hands him a beer which he chugs but seems to be halfway calm enough to actually listen to what Octavia has to say.

"Now, I'll keep Clarke distracted and away from him for at least a few hours."

"What about Mbege? Once he sees you with Clarke, he'll be extra focused on Murphy or me and there's no way..."

"I think my friend Fox will be more than capable odd handling him and if not then I'll get Wick to occupy him." Octavia interrupts. 

"What about Raven? Her and Clarke are best friends and Wick would tell her what's going on and she'd tell Clarke."

"No he won't because I happen to know that Raven is working late tonight and won't be done until after the party which means she'll have no idea he's helping us beforehand."

"But what if they have someone else, like Miller? After what happened yesterday I have a feeling that Mbege is gonna have some other people keeping an eye on things."

"Lincoln can handle Miller or anyone else for that matter, can't you baby?"

Lincoln walks into the living room with a beer and nods saying

"They won't be a problem."

Octavia smiles at him and when he smiles back, the look they share reminds him of the way him and Murphy used to smile at each other before it was replaced with venom and fire. 

"Why are you helping me? Not that I'm objecting but you never want to be involved."

"With good reason especially after what happened last time but this is different. This is Murphy and no matter how hard you try to hide our ignore it, the pain of losing him is still very real for you because you really and truly loved him and still do. Now I don't know if he feels the same way but I'd never forgive myself if he did and you missed your chance to get him back because I didn't help. Not to mention I think being with him was the only time in your life when you were ever happy and even though you're an asshole, you deserve to be happy. So I'm helping any way I can."

"Thanks lil sis, you're the best and I was happy when you were born."

"I know but remember if this bites me in the ass, you owe me big time Bell and I mean big. Got it?"

"Got it." He says with a smile as he leaves get apartment and heads home. 

He had to try and figure out exactly what he was gonna say to Murphy when he finally got to talk to him. He just hoped Octavia's plan would work and that Murphy would actually listen to him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't exactly go as planned at the party.

At Murphy and Mbege's everyone is gathered so they can break down the layout of the party and figure out the best positions for all involved because after the last fiasco, it was all hands on deck. Once everything was settled, they all left to get ready for the party while Murphy went downstairs to blow off some steam. 

Twenty minutes into the party everything was going fine until Octavia pulled Clarke to the side and the two of them stepped outside. Mbege immediately scanned the crowd searching for Bellamy while Monroe kept Murphy's attention so he wasn't alone. Once he found him, it wasn't long before he lost him in a crowd of people and as he was trying to locate him again his attention was diverted by a friendly voice attached to a not too shabby looking person. 

Mbege managed to signal Miller to pick up the slack while he focused all of his attention on the very good looking guy in front of him. Miller nods at Mbege's signal and picks up where he left off but he's soon distracted by Octavia's friend Fox which leaves Monroe alone to cover Murphy. 

"Those damn boys are worthless. Looks like it's all up to me and here comes loverboy."

Murphy looked around and seeing everyone not doing their damn jobs pissed him off but at least he still had Monroe. 

"Can I talk to him for a second?" Bellamy asks Monroe sweetly. 

"Well now that's entirely up to him, Bellamy."

He looks at her a bit confused and then smiles before saying

"She's definitely a lot prettier than Miller and Mbege and I'm guessing she's not leaving your side either."

"Unlike them it takes a little more than a pretty face and nice body to get me away from his side."

As Murphy watched the exchange he couldn't help but smile because it was the exact reason why he liked her so much and kept her around. 

"Do you wanna talk to him, Murph?" She asks him when she realizes Bellamy isn't leaving. 

"I'd prefer not too."

"And there you have it. Guess you're shit outta luck, loverboy."

"Please Murphy? Just hear what I have to say and then you can go. Please?" He pleaded. 

"Why? Why should I listen to anything you have to say? You'll just lie anyways." Murphy snaps. 

"You have every right to think that but all I'm asking for is a chance to tell you the truth."

"The truth? The truth? Bellamy you wouldn't know the truth if it was your own fucking reflection."

"You're probably right, especially considering I barely recognize my own reflection anymore. Just give me an hour. Please Murphy? One hour."

Monroe whispers something in Murphy's ear while Bellamy begged that caused him to sigh and say

"You have an hour but Monroe's gonna be with me the whole time. She knows everything anyways."

Bellamy's face lit up a bit at his words and they followed him to an empty room where they could have some privacy. 

"You wanted to talk, so talk. Clock's ticking Blake." Murphy says growing impatient with the silence filling the room. 

"I'm sorry."

"For what exactly?"

"For everything."

"Do you even know what all that entails? What is everything, Bellamy?"

Now that he was face to face with Murphy and he was spitting things back in his face, Bellamy forgot everything that he had wanted to say. He stared at Murphy trying to form the words to explain things to him but couldn't. 

"Just what I fucking thought. We're done here. Let's go Monroe." He says when Bellamy remains silent. 

Bellamy watches them turn to leave but before they could walk out the door and before he even realizes what he's doing, he blurts out

"I'm sorry I kissed Atom. It was the biggest mistake of my life and although I had my reasons they weren't enough to justify it, especially when it cost me you."

Murphy spins around, fist clenched and says "You still don't fucking get it, Bellamy! It was never about the kiss. I mean sure it ripped my heart apart but you'd already broken it before then and until you realize that your sorrys don't mean a fucking thing!"

He suddenly punches Bellamy in the face, knocking him to the floor and says

"Don't ever fucking come near me or any of my friends ever again or I swear you won't live to regret it."

Him and Monroe then exit the room to find Clarke because Murphy was no longer in the mood to party or be around people. Thankfully Clarke didn't protest when Murphy told her he needed to leave and after dropping her off, he headed home. Once there he grabs some alcohol and sends a mass text to Miller, Mbege and Monroe saying

"You're all fucking assholes and are worthless pieces of shit except for Monroe who was the only one who had my back and did her damn job! Which means she's getting half of your pay for this job and if either one of you fuckers has one thing to say about it I'll knock your fucking teeth down your damn throats!"

He waited a few minutes and got an "Anytime dear. Glad I could help" from Monroe.

An "Okay" from Miller.

And a "Can we talk about this?" from Mbege.

To which Murphy responded "Decisions final and your ass is sleeping fucking downstairs tonight cuz I don't wanna see your face until I no longer wanna pound it to pulp."

Mbege knew it was pointless to argue so he replied with "I'll sleep at Miller's. Call me when you no longer wanna kill me."

Murphy didn't respond because he didn't need too. Everything was settled for now and he had the house all to himself which was perfect since he needed to think about things. He still had to try and make sense of what Monroe had whispered to him at the party and Bellamy's bullshit apology because he still wasn't sure if it was genuine or not.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia finally learns the truth about what really happened between her brother and Murphy.

Octavia watches with a sad smile as Bellamy comes walking up to her and Lincoln with a swollen and busted lip. 

"What happened? Did you even talk to him?"

"Yes and no. I didn't know what to say. It's not easy when you're face to face. I mean what do you say to the only person you've ever loved and pushed away because you were scared of falling, not realizing you already had."

"Why didn't you tell him that?"

"So did he hit you because you didn't say anything?" Lincoln asks trying to figure out what happened. 

"He hit me because I said I was sorry and he said I didn't get it so it didn't mean shit."

"Bellamy, what did you do to him? Seriously, I want the truth cuz I feel like I'm missing key information." Octavia questions, realizing she doesn't know everything like she thought she did. 

"Can we go and I'll tell you at my place? I can't be here anymore."

They agree and head to Bellamy's so that Octavia could learn the truth about his and Murphy's breakup because his reaction to Bellamy's apology suggests that he did more than just push Murphy away. 

Meanwhile Murphy was trying to forget about the pained and defeated look in Bellamy's eyes when he talked about not recognizing his own reflection but with Monroe having pointed it out to him and having seen the same look in his own eyes some time ago, he couldn't. The last time he'd seen that look in Bellamy's eyes was when they had broken up and he left.

It had taken every ounce of strength he'd had to keep walking and not look back but he'd done it. Although he didn't come out of it unscathed nor did Mbege and Miller who had to deal with a few weeks of his crying, anger and sadness. It got so bad that his anger caused him to get suspended, sent to Juvie and nearly cost Miller's dad his job before he'd finally chilled out enough and was over Bellamy enough to function halfway normal. 

Mbege had never left his side and even after 7 years of shit, he was still there. Murphy knew he deserved better but he also knew why Mbege stayed. Love was a fickle mistress and sometimes the cruelest of them all. He liked to compare her to the devil himself or evil incarnate because no one else could be as devious. Mbege was in love with him and always would be just like he was with Bellamy. 

Things would of been easier and better if they could be together but life has to make things difficult for Murphy and seemed to shit on him every chance it got. Murphy finished off the glass in his hand before heading to bed. He needed some sleep because Monroe would be by in 4 hours to talk which he wasn't looking forward too but guessed he needed. 

Once they arrived at Bellamy's, he offered them something to drink trying to stall but Octavia wanted to get right to it. 

"Now spill. What really caused Murphy to break up with you?"

"The break up was mutual but what lead up to it wasn't."

"So what happened? The truth, Bell."

He sighs before plopping down on the couch and tries to tell her what happened. However every time he started to talk he couldn't find the words. It seemed the truth was harder to speak than he thought especially when the reason things are the way they were was because of him. 

"C'mon Bell, tell me the truth." Octavia coaxes.

"It's not that simple O. I don't know where to start."

"I've found that the beginning usually works."

"Wow, thank you so much for your help Lincoln. It's very insightful." Bellamy says sarcastically. 

"Glad I could help." He replies, ignoring the sarcasm. 

Bellamy rolls his eyes as Octavia smirks a bit at Lincoln's reply before turning her attention back to her brother and insisting on the truth. 

"Fine. Here's the truth: when I met Murphy things just fell into place. It was like we were two pieces of a puzzle that only fit each other and it was great. He was great, too great. The way you described him with Clarke is the way he was with me and the deeper my feelings got the more terrified I became that I wasn't enough, that he deserved better or I'd screw it all up, that I'd screw him up. However my fear caused it to happen because I pushed him away. Not to mention him and Mbege were super close which made me jealous and his presence in Murphy's life made me feel threatened so I pushed him farther away by turning to Atom. As me and Atom grew closer, me and Murphy got further and further away from each other and while I was finding comfort in Atom, he was finding it in Mbege. It seriously pissed me off so I made the biggest and most stupid mistake of my life by making sure that when Murphy came home the first thing he'd see was me kissing Atom."

"Bellamy, you didn't. Please tell me you didn't actually..."

"I did and he told me he couldn't stand to look at me anymore and we were done. Then he just drops off the face of the earth only to turn back up 7 years later with Clarke and he still wants nothing to do with me."

"Oh Bell. Why didn't you tell me this sooner? I could of helped you fix it then but now..."

"I fucked this up bad, didn't I?" Bellamy states, worried. 

"I'm not sure this is fixable, Bell. You cheated on him and it wasn't physically or sexually but emotionally and that doesn't always just go away. Most of the time it festers and gets worse over time and I think that too much time has passed for this one."

"So what, I should just give up and forget about him?"

"No, I don't know. I guess I'm saying tell him what you just told us and hope for the best but don't hold your breath cuz you'll probably die."

"You can't die from holding your breath, your body won't let you." Lincoln states matter - of - factly. 

"Sweetie now isn't the time, okay?" Octavia says sweetly to Lincoln as she gets up to join him before they leave. 

"Look Bell, get some rest and figure things out later, okay? I love you big brother."

"I'll try and love you too, O."

She gives him a smile and a kiss on the cheek before her and Lincoln leave. Once they're gone, he gets ready for bed and tries getting some sleep, not at all prepared for what was waiting for him in the morning.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy gets an unexpected visitor.

At around 7 a.m. there's a very loud and impatient knock on his door which he of course thinks is Octavia but is in fact someone else. 

"I know it's early but there's some things I need cleared up before I meet Murphy at 9 and you're the only person who can do that, so can I come in?" Monroe says as Bellamy states at her unsure of what to do. 

He sighs after a few seconds and moves to the side, letting her in. 

"I'd offer you coffee but you woke me up so I haven't had time to make any."

"It's okay I had some on my way over."

"And you didn't think to bring me any? How nice of you." Bellamy says sarcastically. 

"Sorry. I wasn't really sure how you took it so I didn't bring you any. I guess I could of brought you black coffee but I wasn't really thinking. Anyways I'm actually here to talk about you and Murphy." She apologizes. 

"It's fine. I'm not worried about it. What about us? You already know the story, so what more do you need?"

"I only know one side, Murphy's and I'd like to know yours because I think that you royally screwed up something you never intended too and it cost you everything."

"You don't know how right you are. Is that why you let me talk to him last night?" Bellamy asks amazed that she was so perceptive. 

"I let you talk to him because neither of you is whole without the other and I have a feeling that by the time y'all realize it, it'll be too late, so I'm just trying to help it along. I didn't know he'd react that way. I mean I did cuz it's Murphy but I didn't, you know?"

"I do. I understand but what exactly do you want me to tell you?"

"Why Atom? Why push Murphy away for him?"

"I didn't push him away for Atom, I pushed him away because I...I was...I was afraid I wasn't good enough and I'd somehow screw him up. He was always angry, abrasive, sarcastic and unafraid to tell you what he thought which I loved but he was also sweet and loving and I was scared I'd take that part, that innocence away from him."

"But when you pulled away from him you screwed him up more than he already was."

"I know. I know but I was scared. You know I was his first? I always thought it was just inexperience but when he told me he was glad it was me, I kinda freaked. I was falling for him in every way possible and I was terrified which led me to try to find flaws but I didn't care about any of them because I was completely and totally in love with him. Then I found one, him and Mbege. I was so jealous of how close they were and knowing that Mbege was in love with him didn't help, so I turned to Atom."

"You were trying to make him feel what you felt, weren't you?"

"Only all it did was make things worse. We were arguing almost all the time and he'd leave for days after an argument without a word of where he was going but I knew. I knew he was with him, so I'd be with Atom."

"Did you two ever...?"

"No. It was emotional, never physical or sexual, except for the kiss. I didn't even like Atom that way. I just wanted to make Murphy hurt but the look on his face and the fact that he did nothing, John Murphy did nothing, broke me. It broke me because I broke him. There was no anger, hate or sadness, it was all defeat and pain. He wouldn't even look at me and then he left me. I was devastated. For weeks after I alienated everyone, including my sister and it cost me my job and apartment. I moved in with Atom until Octavia got a place and I stayed with her until I got back on my feet. When Octavia finally pulled me out of it, I tried to find him so we could talk but he was nowhere and then I found other ways to deal with my pain."

"You used people to get what you wanted and thought you needed before dumping them once you got it, right?"

"I became the unemotional, uncaring, petty and deceitful person I needed to be too forget him but it didn't work. All I managed to do was no longer recognize myself and miss him more."

He pauses, taking a shaky breath and Monroe notices tears streaming down his face. He turns away from her and says

"I was a coward. I am a coward and it cost me the love of my life. He'll never take me back and I don't blame him. I didn't deserve him then and I sure as hell don't now."

"Does he know any of this? Maybe you should tell him."

"I can't. Every time I look at him all I see is the pain and hurt I caused him and I can't speak."

"So don't. Don't tell him, show him and maybe you'll find he wants you back as much as you want him but you have to put in the effort for it to happen."

"I'm glad he has you. You're a good friend."

"I know. Thanks for the truth. I'm gonna go. Bye Bellamy."

"Do you think maybe you could tell him that I...I still love him?"

"I can but I don't know if it'll change things."

"Thanks. Bye Monroe."

She gives him a short nod as she leaves and heads to Murphy's for their early morning chat. Bellamy liked Monroe. She reminded him of Murphy in some ways and she seemed to genuinely care for him which was something he knew Murphy needed, whether he'd admit it or not.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monroe and Murphy have a little chat about Bellamy.

At exactly 9 a.m. there's a knock on Murphy's door and when he opens it, he finds Monroe with food. 

"Figured you'd be hungry so I come barring food."

"I would have preferred you brought..."

"Coffee? I got that too and it's just the way you like it." She interrupts with a smile. 

"You're the best." He says taking the coffee and food to the kitchen to sit. 

"I know. So when's Mbege coming back?" She asks as she follows, trying not to get to the heavy stuff just yet. 

"When I tell him too. He left me hanging twice M and if you hadn't been there last night who knows what would of happened. He let me down and with Bellamy being here I...I just need some time."

"I know it's a touchy subject but why don't you take him back? I mean it's obvious he still loves you and I know you still love him. Would being happy be so bad?"

"I can't M, I just can't. He's not the same person I fell in love with and I don't even know if I can trust him anymore after Atom."

"But it was just a kiss, right? It's not like they had sex, did they?"

"No. I don't know. He says they didn't but I'm just not sure and it wasn't the kiss. Don't get me wrong, seeing them kissing hurt like hell but it was what led up to it and the fact that he'd kiss someone else."

"You turned to Mbege and he turned to Atom, I'm not sure I understand your stubbornness to take him back." Monroe states playing a little devil's advocate. 

Murphy throws the cup in the floor as he stands up, knocking his chair over in the process before speaking. 

"I wouldn't of turned to Mbege if he hadn't turned to Atom! He would talk to him instead of me! Atom knew everything, even things that he shouldn't have and Bellamy just shrugged it off like it was nothing!"

"Maybe he saw things differently. Maybe he felt threatened by your relationship with Mbege or maybe he was just scared. Did you ever think about any of that? Huh, Murph?" She says not bothered by his shouting.

He slams his fists down on the table and yells "Why are you defending him? Why are you taking his side? You're supposed to be my friend, not his so why are you helping him?"

"I'm not! I'm just doing what Miller and Mbege are afraid to do and that's tell you what I think. Miller's afraid to disagree with you or take someone else's side because of what you'll do and Mbege doesn't want you with anyone but him, so he's not even gonna entertain the idea of you and Bellamy getting back together because he knows you'll pick Bellamy. I'm asking you all of this because someone needs too. Bellamy wasn't the only one who did something wrong and you weren't the only one hurting so quit acting like you were the only fucking victim!"

Monroe yells as she slams her hands down on the table as well, causing Murphy to jump from the sudden action. He looked at her confused for a second as he left the words sink before he says anything in return. 

"What are you talking about? If he was so hurt why didn't he try finding or contacting me in some way?"

"How do you know he didn't?"

"How do you know he did?" Murphy countered, becoming suspicious that she knew something she wasn't telling him. 

"Because I talked to him and he told me. There's two sides to every story Murphy and I wanted his, so I asked him about it."

"Actually there are three sides: yours, theirs and the truth."

"And the truth is that he loves you and you love him. It was a kiss and yes he betrayed your trust but..."

"But nothing! You talked to him about me? About us? Why? Why would you do that?" Murphy questions confused and still a bit angry.

"Because I'm tired of seeing you in pain! I'm tired of seeing you unhappy and walking around like something's missing. Like you're a shell of who you once were and I've tired for 4 years to figure out what but never could until now. It's Bellamy and it always has been. He's what you want and need, you just refuse to admit it because you're too damn stubborn!"

"Why do you care? If I get back with him then there won't be anymore me and you, so why are you trying so hard?"

"I know that but I'm also your friend and as your friend I want you happy. That's why and unlike Mbege I'm not completely in love with you so my opinions are unbiased. I'm not saying take him back now or without question but just think about what I've said and maybe give him another chance."

They sit there in silence for a bit before Murphy sighs, running his fingers through his hair and says

"What about Clarke? We have a job to do and we can't just quit on her."

"We'll have to figure something out. Find some excuse or something to get outta the job."

"Tell him to go to my TonDC address, the day after tomorrow and I'll talk to him, since you're such good friends now."

"Jealous, Murphy?" She teases.

"Maybe. Does it turn you on?" He teases back. 

"You're so stupid and no it doesn't."

"Too bad. I was hoping to get a little pleasure..."

"Goodbye Murphy." She interrupts with a smile as she ruffles his hair and kisses his cheek before leaving. 

He sits back down at the table for a while after before deciding to shower and call Mbege because there were a few things he needed clarified. Mbege was at the house within an hour of Murphy's call but as soon as he set foot in the house, he knew things weren't gonna be pleasant.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mbege and Murphy have a long overdo chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the tenses change throughout this. I know I tend to do that from time to time.

As soon as Mbege saw Murphy's face, he knew he wasn't happy which meant that before it was all said and done, he wouldn't be happy. 

"I take it you're still pissed about the party."

"No, I'm over the party. This is about something else and I need you to be completely honest with me about it."

"I always am, so what's up?" Mbege questions unsure of what else he could be mad about. 

"If Bellamy had tried to find me after we broke up would you have told me or kept it to yourself? I'm just curious cuz some things have been brought to my attention recently and I'm beginning to question things. I know you love me and would do anything for me but would you intentionally keep me from Bellamy so I'd stay with you?"

Once Bellamy was mentioned Mbege immediately went on the defensive which given the circumstances probably wasn't the best idea. 

"Why would you even ask me that? Has he said something to you? Did he tell you something about me in the bathroom because if so it's a lie."

"Then answer the fucking questions instead of dodging them and why does it have to be something he's said? Does he know something that I should ask him about?" 

"Why would you even talk to him after what he did to you? Why would you put yourself through that pain again?"

"Why won't you just answer my fucking questions?! Because the way your coming at me makes me think you're hiding shit, so answer my fucking questions, Mbege!" Murphy yells obviously fed up with him. 

"Why does it matter now? It's been 7 fucking years, Murph! Do you honestly think he's changed? Shit, you've seen the evidence of what he's been doing but just because he leaves a dinner, corners you in the bathroom and comes up to you at a party claiming he's sorry doesn't mean he is! Damn it, Murph, why can't you see he's using you and you're just another conquest to add to his list?!" Mbege yells back frustrated with Murphy's idiocy. 

"You mean like you use me for sex and a place to live? Because remember whose plans we use to get the revenge that brings in the money that pays for everything, me! I'm the mastermind behind this shit and you're the fucking pathetic lackey who does whatever the fuck I say! Hell Mbege, you know I don't love you so out of the 2 of us who the fuck do you think is another conquest added to a list?!" Murphy spit back, venom dripping from every word. 

"I fucking knew this would happen, I knew it! Bellamy had this pull over you and I don't get it. It's like you're his fucking puppet on a string. He said some thing to you about me and you believe it, no questions asked which is bullshit since I'm the one that's been there with you from the beginning, not him. Remember that? So why, why is it so easy to believe him but it's always a fucking fight with me?"

"Because I love him and he's not a fucking puppy dog that constantly follows me everywhere like you." Murphy states honestly and he knew it hit a nerve. 

"I may be a puppy dog but at least I'd never come crawling back, crying and sobbing about how sorry I was for hurting you or begging to just see your face cuz I..."

Mbege didn't get the chance to finish because Murphy's fist collided with his face, knocking him into the wall as Murphy, not missing a beat, grabs him by the shirt and pins him to it. 

"You'd never lie to me, huh? Bullshit! I just fucking caught your ass! Get the fuck out!" Murphy screams. 

"But..." Mbege begins to say but is slammed against the wall, hard by Murphy. 

"I said get the fuck out! Now! If I see your face back here before I call you, I swear I'll fucking kill you." He threatens as he throws Mbege to the floor as he releases him. 

However Mbege just stands there staring at him, refusing to move until an unopened bottle of beer is thrown at him. He has enough time to duck but the bottle still gazes his head before shattering to the floor. 

"Everything I did in regards to Bellamy, I did to protect you. That's what I've always done and will continue to do whether you want it or not. I'm sorry and I hope you can understand. I love you Murphy and if that makes me pathetic, then I'm fucking pathetic." Mbege says as he closes the door with what Murphy would have sworn were just a hint of tears in his eyes.

Murphy stares at the door and the smashed bottle for a second before grabbing a chair and slamming it to the floor. He breaks a few more things before heading upstairs. He lays on his bed for a bit, trying to figure out when everything started to fall apart until his phone rings.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy gets an unexpected phone call and visitor, neither of which is wanted.

Murphy answers his phone without looking at the name or number but as soon as he hears a cheery female voice say hello, he knows immediately who it is. 

"Hey Clarke. Now really isn't a good time. I'm dealing with some shit and I..."

"You can come over and talk about it if you want. I can make dinner and we can hang out. I'm a really good listener, if you give me a chance." She interrupts. 

"Look Clarke, you're really nice and all but I'm not that guy. Trust me when I say that what you see when we're out is an act. The real me is abrasive, sarcastic and rough." He replies with a sigh. 

"Maybe that's what I want. Rough is nice sometimes." Clarke responds hopefully. 

Murphy pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger, realizing that the gentle approach isn't gonna work here. 

"Okay, I'm 2 for 2 today so I might as well go ahead and make it 3 for 3. You're a job to me, Clarke, nothing more, nothing less. So quit making a fool of yourself and give up cuz it's never gonna happen."

There's a slight huffing sound on the other end before the line goes dead and Murphy makes his way back downstairs because he really needed a drink now. As he drinks his beer, opting out of the hard stuff because he wasn't in the mood to get trashed, he surveys the scene around him and wishes Mbege was here. Not that he regretted kicking him out but if he was still there, the mess wouldn't be and he knew damn well he wasn't cleaning it, at least not until tomorrow. 

He was just about to walk back upstairs when his front door opens and Miller comes walking in. Of course it was him because no one else was stupid enough to come walking into his house uninvited. Miller freezes when he sees the mess and takes a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever Murphy was gonna do to him after he said what he needed to say. 

"I'll make a deal with you, I'll clean up this mess if you hear me out?" Miller states cautiously.

"I'll give you 5 minutes to say whatever it is and then you'll clean up this mess or you can just leave now without a scratch. Deal?"

"Deal." Miller she's knowing that when Murphy was like this it was best to go along with whatever he said.

"Good. Now grab me another beer and then start talking." Murphy says as he makes his way into the living room to sit. 

Miller does what he asks but when he hands Murphy the beer, he just stares at it. 

"What?" Miller asks confused. "You're supposed to open it before handing it to me."

"God damn it, Murphy!" Miller says through gritted teeth as he takes the bottle and opens it. 

When he hands it back to him, Murphy is smirking with satisfaction and Miller just rolls his eyes. 

"Good boy. Now speak."

"I fucking hate you right now. Why are we even friends?"

"Well I'm friends with you cuz your dad's chief of police and your mom's a lawyer, so it's a win win for me." 

"Look, I know you're pissed and I get it but you don't have to be such a cunt to me when I didn't fucking do anything to you."

"Just say what the fuck you barged in here to say and leave." Murphy says, done with everyone's shit for today and just wanting to be alone. 

Miller sits in the chair across from Murphy and begins to tell him why he was there. 

"Mbege shouldn't have kept Bellamy coming back from you but we'd just gotten you back to some semblance of what you were before and he didn't wanna risk you spiraling again."

"That wasn't his choice! He had no right to keep...He lied to me and I feel like he did it cause he didn't trust me enough to let me decide on my own."

"Because he loves you. People do stupid things in the name of love and if lying to you would prevent further heartbreak than that's what he'd do."

"That's just a fucking excuse, Miller and you know it. If he really loved me that way he claims he does then he'd let me go. He knows I don't love him, at least not the way he wants."

"I know Murphy, but he was doing what he thought was best. We've been friends our whole lives, Murph, so don't let this ruin all of that. He'll be at my house if you wanna stop by and talk." Miller says as he gets up to leave. 

As he closes the door, Murphy is sitting in the living room looking at the floor with the untouched beer still in his hands. After a while Murphy decides that the night calls for the hard stuff because now he just wants to forget everything and grabs the bottle of whiskey from the bar, not even bothering with a glass as he opens the bottle and starts drinking it.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy and Bellamy are both a little stressed about their meeting and Clarke vents to Raven.

Murphy's alarm goes off at 9 a.m. but he didn't remember setting it. In fact he didn't even remember how he managed to make it upstairs and in his bed. When he hits the snooze button, he feels something laying on it and sets up to check it out. His head is spinning as he tries to focus on the note and it makes the words seem like they're spinning as well. He sets the note down and reads it when everything stops spinning. 

"Hey, stopped by and found door unlocked with you passed out on the floor. I cleaned up the mess, practically carried you upstairs, helped you into bed and set your alarm since I knew you were meeting Bellamy at noon. I also locked the door and left some aspirin for you to take. Love ya, Monroe."

Murphy smiles as he grabs the aspirin and heads to the bathroom to take a shower to get ready to meet Bellamy. Meanwhile Clarke was having coffee with Raven to vent about her luck with guys. 

"What's wrong with me?" Clarke asks. 

"What do you mean? You're awesome. Not as awesome as me but still awesome."

"Then why do I have the worst luck with men?"

"Look, I know Bellamy was a..."

"It's not just Bellamy. Do you know why I came to you asking about getting revenge? It wasn't just that he'd say things I never did or said but I found him in my bed with a girl and a guy. He was in the middle and when he saw me all he said was I'll be done in a second unless you wanna join in, like it was no big deal." 

"Hold up, are you serious? Why am I just now hearing about this? You don't need revenge, you need to cut his fucking dick off."

"It's fine. I'm over it now and I thought I had found someone else but..."

"What? Who?" Raven interrupts excitedly. 

"It's not important. Turns out I was reading more into it than I should."

"Clarke honey, listen to me. You are a beautiful and caring person who will find someone who will appreciate you for everything that you are. Hell, if I wasn't straight, I'd totally date you."

"Thanks Raven. You always know what to say."

"It's what I'm here for and because of course, I'm awesome."

They both laugh and the rest of the day isn't that bad considering how it started. Back at Murphy's, he's sitting on his bed in a towel debating what to wear. He couldn't understand why it was so hard. It was just talking but it was talking with Bellamy, alone and he was nervous. He wanted to look perfect but everything he had just wasn't right. It was already 10:45 and he was beginning to panic but then his phone rang. 

"Let me guess, you're still sitting on your bed in a towel trying to figure out what to wear, right?" Monroe says as soon as Murphy picks up. 

"Please tell me you're calling to help." Murphy begs. 

"Wow, a please from John Murphy. You must really be freaking out." 

"Did you call to make fun of me or help? C'mon Monroe, I'm drowning here."

She let's out a small chuckle before saying "Open your closet. You should find notes attached to things in there, read them and do what they say. Hurry up and you're welcome."

She hangs up the phone without waiting for a response and he walks to his closet to do what she says.

The notes ranged from if you wear this I'll kill you to this will guarantee you some dick and everything in between. He settled for an outfit that Monroe had deemed hot enough to fuck but not jump right then and there which he figured was good considering they were just gonna talk. He pulled into the driveway of his TonDC home at around 11:30 and prayed that Bellamy wasn't already there. 

Bellamy, however was freaking out just as much as Murphy was and after having thrown everything on the floor, not satisfied with the way he looked in any of it, he called Octavia for help. Within ten minutes of being there, she had picked out a pair of semi tight black jeans, a black sweater and a black wife beater to wear underneath it. 

"Wear this and quit freaking the hell out. Relax, it's only Murphy and you know Murphy." She reassured him. 

"No, I knew Murphy, 7 years ago, O. How do I know he hasn't changed?"

"You don't but how do you know he has? You'll be fine, Bell, trust me. Now go before you're late."

He nodded with a smile as she left and he got dressed. He arrived at the address Monroe had given him at 11:55 but waits until 12 to knock on the door because he didn't wanna seem to eager or be earlier than he was supposed to be.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy and Bellamy 's meeting.

The door opens but there's no one within view so Bellamy slowly walks inside. The place was nice, maybe too nice for Murphy. At least the Murphy he remembers and he worries that too much time has changed between them. The door suddenly closes behind him and when he turns, Murphy is standing there looking at him. 

"Who picked out your clothes? I bet it was Octavia. They have her taste written all over them."

"Who picked out yours? I know damn well it wasn't Mbege." He replies quickly. 

Murphy's face falls slightly at the mention of Mbege and though it's subtle, Bellamy notices, hoping he didn't just fuck up. 

"Don't talk about him. I'm not here to talk about him, I'm here to hear what you have to say, so say it."

Bellamy takes a deep breath, not really expecting to get to the point so quickly, before he talks. 

"I meant what I said at the party about Atom and the kiss. It was the biggest mistake I've ever made and it cost me you. I...I know nothing will ever make up for it but at least let me try. I was a wreck when I lost you and ever since that dinner, you're all I can think about. Just tell me what you want me to do or say and I'll do it. I...I just...Murphy, I still love you."

"It's not the kiss. The kiss I could have dealt with but it wasn't the physical betrayal that killed me Bellamy, it was the emotional one. Atom knew things about us, about me that he shouldn't have and that could only have come from you. Why? Why would you knowing how I am emotionally, do what you did with Atom?" He responds much more calmly than Bellamy would have thought given the conversation. 

"What do you mean? I only ever talked about how I was feeling, never about you. It was always like venting to a friend, you never tell them more than they needed to know. I never talked about us, personally. I'd never do that, so whatever he knew, I swear on O's life it didn't come from me, Murphy."

Murphy believed him, mainly because Octavia's life was something Bellamy never swore on unless he absolutely meant it but it still didn't explain how Atom knew what he did. He figured it was best to ask Atom but didn't want to worry about that because they weren't here to talk about Atom.

"Why would...Why did you turn to him in the first place? I thought things were going great between us until...until it all fell apart and then it was over. I just...I wanna know why, Bellamy. Why wasn't I enough?" Murphy says as he sits on the stairs by the door with his head in his hands. 

Bellamy's heart drops at Murphy's last words and the sheer defeat and sadness in his voice, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around him but he fights the urge, knowing they aren't quite there yet. He moves to the stairs, standing by the railing and says

"They were great and that was the problem. Things were prefect between us and it scared the hell out of me. I fell for you Murphy, hard and fast and you were so young. I was afraid that you would realize that I wasn't what you wanted a few years down the road and leave me. Not to mention I was your first and yes I'd been someone's first before but with you it was...I don't know, it was different. Everything was different and it wasn't in a bad way but I guess I started looking for a way out so I wouldn't be heartbroken when you did leave me because I wasn't good enough for you."

Murphy moves his hands from his face and looks up at Bellamy in confusion as he speaks. 

"Bellamy I was never gonna leave you. You were everything I wanted and needed, so why would I ever give that up?"

"I saw how you were with Mbege which was different than you were with Miller and...I saw the way Mbege looked at you, the way he still looks at you and it terrified me that you'd leave me for him since you two were so close. Look, I'm an idiot and an asshole, I know this but my intentions were never to hurt you and I know how lame this sounds but the last thing I ever wanted to do was break your heart."

"You didn't break it, Bellamy you destroyed it. You destroyed me."

Murphy stands up quickly, trying to walk away before Bellamy could see the tears that he was failing to hold back fall but Bellamy won't let him. He grabs Murphy's arm, knowing he'd probably get hit but he wasn't letting him walk away this time, no matter what. Murphy spins around and as predicted punches him in the jaw causing him to let go of his arm. 

"Don't! Don't fucking touch me!" He snaps. 

"You're not walking away from this. I'm not letting you, not this time." Bellamy replies sternly. 

"I fucking hate you Bellamy Blake!"

"No you don't, Murphy." He says as he takes Murphy's hand in his. 

Murphy jerks it form his grasp saying "I said don't touch me! I swear Blake, if you touch me one more time..."

"Do whatever you feel you have to, Murph cuz I'm not running away." Bellamy interrupts, taking both of Murphy's hands in his own. 

Murphy flips out, pushes Bellamy away and punches him again but he won't stop. He knows it's not his brightest idea but he has to show Murphy that he's not leaving him not matter what, so he walks closer to him causing Murphy to back away and hit him again. With every punch, Bellamy manages to get back up and close whatever distance Murphy had managed to achieve until he could no longer stand it and charges Bellamy. 

They crash to the floor where Murphy mounts him and unloads on Bellamy until he can barely lift his arms. He stops and tries calming himself down while still on top of Bellamy who's bloody but fairly unharmed. He had a busted lip, on both sides, a cut above his left eye as well as one below his right eye on the cheek bone and a bloody nose but surprisingly nothing was broken. 

Murphy's hands are bloody and tears stream down his cheeks as he attempts to get his breathing under control. Bellamy who never moved to defend himself in any way slowly reaches his hand up to gently touch Murphy's face and softly says

"John? John, look at me. John, please?"

"Don't call me John." Murphy replies as he leans into Bellamy's touch and looks down at him. 

"I'm sorry about your face."

"Do you feel better?"

"Yeah."

"Then there's nothing to be sorry about."

"You know I never would have left you, for any reason, right? Nothing was ever gonna take me from you. Me and Mbege never were and never will be anything more than friends."

Murphy gets up and holds his hand out for him to take saying "C'mon, let's get your face cleaned up."

Bellamy smiles, taking his hand and letting Murphy lead him into the bathroom where he grabs the first aid kit from under the sink. 

"Sit." Murphy says as he pushes Bellamy down onto the toilet while he sits on the edge of the tub and begins cleaning Bellamy's wounds. 

While he does, Bellamy takes the opportunity to ask about what he's been doing for the past 7 years.

"So, you seeing anyone?"

"Not since you." Murphy states, focusing on Bellamy's cuts trying not to look in his eyes. 

"So, you've been alone for 7 years?"

"Not exactly. Me and Monroe have a thing from time to time and Mbege's still around. I just haven't found anyone worth anything serious, except for you."

"What about Clarke?" He asks curious as to why he wouldn't have mentioned her since they were supposedly dating. 

"And Clarke but it's not serious. What about you? You seeing anyone?" Murphy says hoping he didn't just blow his cover since he was still technically working.

"Not exactly. I've been with a few people but I get bored quickly so I screw them over and move on. I don't stay around longer than a week and there's no feelings involved on my part. I'm not proud of who I've become but when I'm alone all I think about is you and how I hurt you which makes me hate myself even more. Murphy, if I could go back I'd change it all and I would have told you how I felt. I know you hate me and I'm okay with that. I just...I wanted you to know the truth so that you could find someone better."

Murphy stops cleaning his face, sighing before he leans in, placing a soft and sweet kiss on his lips saying

"There's no one better than you Bellamy. There never was and I don't hate you. In fact I still love you."

Bellamy smiles, interlacing their fingers and says "Does this mean you forgive me and will give me another chance?"

"It means we can start working our way towards it but I'm still not ready yet. I need more time."

"Take all the time you need, I can wait. I'm not gonna leave you."

"You better not cuz if you do, I may never forgive you."

They continue to talk about nothing of any real importance until Murphy is finished with Bellamy's face and is about to put the first aid kit away when he's stopped. 

"We're not finished with that. You cleaned my face, now let me clean your hands." Bellamy says hopefully. 

"Okay but then you should leave cuz I've got things to do and think about."

"You need your space, I get it and I'll leave when I'm done."

He makes sure he takes his time cleaning Murphy's hands, trying to draw it out as much as possible. Murphy knows what he's doing but doesn't say anything because he doesn't want him to leave either, even though he knows he needs too. When he's finished, Murphy puts the kit back under the sink and they head to the door but neither open it. 

They look into each other's eyes for a bit before Bellamy decides to go for it, grabbing Murphy around the waist, pulling him into him and kisses him. Murphy puts his hands on Bellamy's chest like he's gonna push him away but when he bites down and pulls on Murphy's bottom lip, his hands tighten around Bellamy's shirt, pulling him closer and deepens the kiss. Bellamy smiles into it as his tongue reacquaints itself with Murphy's mouth. 

They break apart for air and place their foreheads together but don't let go of each other. 

"You need to go." Murphy says.

"I know I do."

"I'll call you in a few days. Maybe we can go grab some dinner or something. I have a job to finish first and then I can focus on us."

"Is there still an us?"

"I think there's still the potential for it. Let me finish this job and then we'll go from there, okay?"

"Okay. Call me in a few days." Bellamy asks more as a question than a statement. 

"I will. Bye Bellamy."

"Bye Murphy."

Bellamy gives him a quick kiss on the lips before he finally leaves. Once the door is closed, Murphy collapses in front of it, replaying everything that just happened and praying he's not making a mistake. He's sits there a while longer, trying to compose himself before making his way back to The Ark.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke talks to Murphy and a meeting with the gang doesn't go as planned.

When Murphy gets back home the first thing he notices is Clarke sitting on the steps waiting and he wonders how long she's been there. He sighs as he makes his way up the steps to unlock the door and hopes that she's not there to argue or confess her love for him. 

"Hey, I knocked but no-one answered so I figured I'd wait. I hope you don't mind." She says as he unlocks the door. 

"Mbege's at Miller's and I had something to take care of. It's fine, I hope you weren't waiting long."

"I've only been here for a few minutes. If you weren't here in 30, I was leaving."

Murphy nods as he opens the door and ushers her inside because it's obvious she wants to talk about something. 

"You want a beer or something?" He offers once they're inside. 

"No I'm good but thanks. I need to talk to you about something kinda important."

"Okay, so talk." Murphy says as he pours himself a glass and sits in a chair in the living room. 

Clarke sits in the chair across from him, taking a deep breath before saying what she'd come to say. 

"I've decided to terminate your services. It's not that I'm unhappy with the results because I'm not. In fact I'm very happy with the job you've been doing and what you've been able to accomplish but given my attraction to you, I feel it's best to end our current relationship."

"Clarke I..." Murphy starts but is interrupted by her. 

"I know you said once it's started it can't be stopped and I'll pay you everything I owe you but I can't keep pretending to be together knowing I'm just a job to you when I want to be more than that. So I feel the best thing for me to do is..."

"Clarke, it's okay. Really, it's fine and if I wasn't in love with someone else I'd probably give you a chance. I'll talk to Mbege and we'll figure out exactly how to handle this since it's never happened before."

"Thanks for being so understanding about all this and if you don't mind me asking, is it Mbege you're in love with?"

"No. We've obviously had sex but I'm not in love with him." 

"Oh, I just assumed from the way he looks at you that you were more involved. Sorry." She apologizes feeling awkward for bringing it up. 

"Don't be. A lot of people assume that because while he's in love with me, I don't see him as anymore than a friend..."

"With benefits?" Clarke interrupts questioningly. 

"Something like that. I'll talk to Mbege today and let you know what we decide. I should be able to get back to you with an answer by tomorrow. I'll also talk to Monroe about setting you up with one of her friends. She's got some good ones and correct me if I'm wrong but you're bi, right?"

"I am, though I'm curious as to how you know that and you don't have to do that."

"I just figured from the way you talked about Raven that you were and it's the least I can do. I can have her set you up with a guy and a girl so that way you can decide which one you'd prefer or I can just have Monroe choose for you cuz she's good at that shit."

"It's fine either way and you really don't need too but thanks. I have to go. My shift at the hospital starts soon, so I'll see you later."

"Later."

Once she's gone, he calls Monroe and tells her to call the others so they could all meet at Miller's house to discuss something. He changes his clothes before getting back in his car and heading to Miller's. He wasn't ready to let Mbege come back home or even talk to him for that matter but this was business so they'd talk about that and then he'd leave while Mbege stayed there. 

When he arrived at Miller's, everyone was already waiting for him which he's thankful for since it means he can get right down to business and not have to worry about awkward silences. He informed then of the conversation he'd had with Clarke and then they began discussing how to handle it. 

"So she's willing to pay us everything but no longer wants our services because she's got the hots for you?" Monty questions. 

"Seriously Monty? Hots? C'mon, did you have to use that word?" Jasper teases. 

"Sorry it's not a cool enough word for you Jasper but it's the truth so..."

"Are you two done with your foreplay so we can get back to the reason we're here?" Monroe comments. 

"It's not foreplay and for your information..."

"Shut up, all of you!" Murphy yells, trying to get everyone back on track. 

"Can we get back to what do about Clarke?" He continues and Miller speaks up because he knows Murphy's getting frustrated which is never good. 

"Well, I'd say given the unique nature of this particular job and the fact that the client is satisfied with the results, it seems reasonable to end things."

"Do we all agree with that?" Murphy asks before continuing. 

They all nod in agreement deeming it best considering Clarke's attraction and though unsaid, Murphy's. 

"Okay, now that that's settled, what do we do about her fee?"

"I think it's best to get payment for time served. I mean she'll pay us 1200 and that way we're knocking off the last month of services." Miller suggests. 

"Does that work for everyone or should we charge her something else? Mbege, you've been quiet this while time, so what do you think?" Murphy asks and as soon as the words leave his mouth he instantly regrets them because the look on Mbege's face said he was gonna talk about more than just Clarke. 

"Well, given the fact that I was against this job from the beginning, I'm more than happy to end it and I think since she's obviously an idiot for falling for your stupid ass she should pay us everything she owes us."

"Are you fucking serious, right now? You really wanna have this out right here in front of everyone? Cuz I can promise you, you'll regret it. So you wanna do this now or later?" Murphy says giving Mbege the chance to walk away but he doesn't. 

"7 years, Murphy! 7 years and I'm willing to bet you're gonna take him back like nothing ever fucking happened." He snaps. 

"Just because you're pissed at the fact that I don't love you doesn't give you the right to pretend that you know how I'm feeling or what I'm gonna do. You walk around like you're the only person worthy enough for me to fuck and you get ass hurt when I'm with Monroe, who if you remember correctly, I was with long before your pussy ass! You still wanna continue or are you done?"

Mbege shuts up, looking like a dog with his tail between his legs as everyone else remains silent until Miller clears his throat to speak. 

"So we all agree to end this job and the client owes us another 700 for a total of 1200?"

Everyone nods as Mbege heads upstairs without another word. Miller tells everyone they can go and they'll meet back up when they get paid to get their cut. Jasper and Monty leave before Miller even finished talking and Monroe soon follows but stops at the door when Murphy speaks. 

"Hey, Monroe? Wait for me, will ya? I need to talk to you about something."

"Sure thing. I'll be outside when you're ready." She says with a smile and leaves as Murphy turns to Miller, who he knows it's pissed at him. 

"What?"

"What? Seriously? Is that all you can say after that shit you just pulled?"

"Shit I just pulled? He fucking started it, Miller and I gave him fair warning so don't defend his ass!"

"I'm not Murphy but damn it we've been friends since we were kids and this shouldn't come between us now." Miller reasons. 

"I'm not wrong and you know that."

"I know but he's hurting, Murph. Bellamy's back and he knows that's it for him which he admittedly isn't handling very well. I know it's not an excuse but you should be aware of it cuz it helps in understanding how he feels. Just think about what I've said, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." He says as he leaves to talk to Monroe. 

"So that was intense and speaking of intense, how did things go with Bellamy?" Monroe says expertly dodging the subject of Mbege. 

"We've reached an understanding of sorts and I'm gonna call him in a few days."

"What kind of understanding was reached? Did it involve hot and sweaty make-up sex?"

"You're horrible and no, no sex just a very long overdue kiss." Murphy replies with a smile playfully bumping her shoulder as they walked to their cars.

"Good. Don't wanna give it up too soon. Make him earn it. So what did you wanna talk to me about?"

"Let's talk over food, I'm starving."

"As long as I can pick the place and you're paying."

"Fine by me. Let's go."

While Murphy and Monroe grab some food, Bellamy is excitedly telling Octavia about what transpired with him and Murphy. 

"So are you two back together now or are you still gonna be brooding?"

"Not yet. He needs more time but he still loves me and it's gonna happen O, I can feel it."

"I'm glad you're happy but just don't get your hopes up because it can still go either way and I don't need you breaking down again, okay?" Octavia states obviously worried about his expectations not meeting the reality of things. 

"I got it, O and don't worry, he's gonna call me when he's finished with this job he's doing so we can figure all this out."

"I hope so, Bell. Now get out, I gotta date with Lincoln." Octavia says practically pushing him out the door. 

"I'm going, I'm going. Love you, sis."

"Love you too, big brother."


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner and a movie with Monroe.

At dinner, Monroe is trying to figure out the best person to introduce Clarke to and keeps coming back to Sterling and Lexa. Sterling was sweet and loyal but Lexa was strong and independent which she thought was maybe a better fit for Clarke. Her thoughts are interrupted by Murphy's voice. 

"So it's between Lexa and Sterling, huh? Which do you think would be better suited for Clarke?" 

"Well, considering her past relationships and questionable taste, given she was attracted to you..."

"Hey, you're attracted to me so doesn't that make your taste questionable as well? And rude by the way." He says feigning hurt. 

"I'm not attracted to you, you're just really satisfying in bed so my taste isn't at all in question." She defends herself. 

"Right? Whatever helps you sleep better at night, sweetheart." He teases, not believing her at all. 

"Anyways, I'd be more inclined to pair her with Lexa than Sterling."

"So call Lexa and ask her about meeting Clarke. If she's game, I'll call Clarke and set up a meeting."

"I'll call her tomorrow. I don't wanna bother her tonight. You gonna be alone tonight?"

"Why? You offering to keep me company?" Murphy asks. 

"Maybe. Are you objecting?" She counters. 

"Do I ever object to your company, M?"

"You haven't yet."

"Then it looks like neither of us is gonna be alone tonight." He smiles slyly. 

They finish dinner and then head to Murphy's where it's obvious that he wasn't in the mood for anything. Monroe had been around Murphy long enough to know when he wanted some and when he wanted to talk and this just so happens to be one of those times that he wanted to talk. She fixes then both a drink as she sits next to him on the couch and waits for him to begin which he does once he's finished his drink. 

"Do you think Miller's right about things?"

"You want my honest answer?"

"Wouldn't have asked if I didn't."

"Yes and no. You have been friends for a long time and this shouldn't come between you but some things can't be forgiven or forgotten."

"So what do you think I should do about Mbege and Bellamy?"

"When it comes to Mbege you need to decide if you want to forgive him or forget him and I think that though misguided and selfish, his reasoning behind his actions are from a place of love. Now as for Bellamy, there's gonna need to be some kind of understanding when it comes to you and Mbege because otherwise you'll be back where you were 7 years ago."

"So how do I...what do I say to them? How do I fix this?" Murphy questions.

"Try talking to Mbege and I mean actually talking to him, instead of hurting him because you're pissed he kept Bellamy away from you. Put yourself in his place. What would you do if someone did to him what Bellamy did to you? Think about that and then talk to him. As for Bellamy, tell him the truth. He still loves you and is probably always gonna be worried about you leaving him, so assure him that he's the only one you want and you aren't going anywhere."

"How the hell did you get so damn smart and why are you still hanging around us?" Murphy says surprised at her intuition. 

"I watch and I listen. You'd be amazed at what you find out when you shut your mouth and open your eyes. And I like being around you guys. You're fun and you keep life interesting. Not to mention I'm a sucker for those damn eyes of yours." 

"I knew you were attracted to me." He says in triumph with a smirk as he playfully shoves her who shoves him back with a smile as well. 

They talk a while longer before putting in a movie and then falling asleep on the couch. In the morning, they set up a meeting between Lexa and Clarke before Monroe leaves. Murphy decides it's best to wait another day or 2 before actually talking to Mbege because he's not sure he's calm enough to not wanna hurt him still.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and Murphy aren't sure if they should call the other or not.

Bellamy had been waiting patiently, or as patiently as he could wait for Murphy to call and even though it had only been 2 days he was debating whether or not to call him himself or keep waiting. He wasn't sure how long Murphy's job would take nor did he know what Murphy did so he didn't want to seem like he was interfering. In the end he decided to wait for Murphy to call him because he didn't want to appear desperate. 

Now that Murphy's business with Clarke was finished he could focus on Bellamy but he had no clue where to start. It had been 3 days since they talked and he wanted to see him again but he also wanted Bellamy to work for it. He wanted Bellamy to take the initiative and call him but at the same time he didn't want to run the risk of possibly having him walk away if he didn't call. 

Murphy had been up all night going back and forth about calling Bellamy or not and he'd finally come to a decision but before he could call Bellamy, Bellamy called him. 

"I know it's like 3 in the morning and you said you'd call me but I couldn't wait any longer. I hope I didn't wake you."

"It's fine and you didn't. Actually was just about to call you."

"Oh, well that's good then. So, did you finish your job?"

"Yeah. It's all taken care of."

"That's good. What do you do anyways? I'm just curious. It's been 7 years and I feel like I know nothing about you again." Bellamy asked trying to figure out what all he's missed. 

Murphy fights the urge to say something sarcastic about how it was his own fault and instead says

"7 years is a long time and a lot has changed but some things haven't. Me and Mbege own an auto repair and body shop together and I work part-time at an auto parts store."

"Well that explains the house and the car which is very nice by the way."

"Thanks. Monroe found it and between the 3 of us we fixed it up. It's my baby. What about you? Where do you work? What does the great Bellamy Blake do for a living? Still work for that construction company?"

"No, I got fired after me and you split. I stopped coming into work and they fired me."

"Shit man, I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it was a shit job anyways. Now I'm a history teacher at a private school in TonDC and manage a gym that Octavia's boyfriend, Lincoln owns when I'm not teaching."

"Living up to those hot for teacher fantasies? Tell me Blake, if I disobey you will you spank me or slap my fingers with a ruler?"

Once the words left his mouth, Murphy instantly prayed Bellamy wouldn't take them literally or as an invitation because no matter how much he wanted it, he knew he still wasn't ready yet. 

"Did you fantasize about your teacher spanking you in class, Murphy?" Bellamy teases.

"Well not my teachers, cuz they were all ugly as hell but maybe you as my teacher spanking me in front of everyone and calling me your dirty...oh my God, why am I saying this to you? I'm...I..."

Bellamy starts laughing at Murphy's obvious embarrassment and says

"So if I was to spank you as a teacher, it would be filling a fantasy you've had since you met me? Well, hopefully one day soon I can make that happen."

"There isn't a chance that we can just ignore that part of the conversation and act like it never happened, is there?"

"Not a chance but we can change the subject since you're uncomfortable. Tell me about Monroe. The two of you are obviously close."

"We are. Monroe's...she's been good to me and helped me out a lot in the last 4 years."

"How? I wanna know."

"I wanna tell you but it's a lot and..."

"You working tomorrow?" Bellamy interrupts, determined to get him to talk about Monroe. 

"No, why?" Murphy replies suspiciously. 

"Maybe I could come over and you can tell me about her."

There's a long pause and Bellamy begins to think he's pushing too hard or moving too fast so he does damage control.

"I'm sorry. It's too soon. I just...I wanna see you again."

There's nothing but silence and Bellamy begins to panic. Murphy is still trying to process the fact that he wants to come over and doesn't know how to answer him. 

"Murphy? Murph, you still there?" Bellamy questions a bit panicky but relaxes when he hears him breathing and continues talking. 

"Murphy? I'll hang up now since..."

"I wanna see you too." Murphy finally says but it's so low that Bellamy barely heard him. 

"What?"

"Come over, now. I mean you can come over now and we can talk about Monroe, if you want too. If not it's fine, I'll completely..."

"I want to. Where are you? Is it the same place I met you before?"

"No, it's in The Ark. Still wanna come?" Murphy asks, knowing that most people were apprehensive about The Ark during the day but at nearly 4 in the morning no one dared set foot in it. 

"What's the address?"

Bellamy knew enough about The Ark to know that it wasn't a place you wanted to be at 4 a.m. but he didn't really care because he wanted to see Murphy. Murphy tells him the address and Bellamy tells him he'll be there in 20 minutes. He grabs his keys, wallet, the paper with the address on it and puts his shoes on on the way to the car. He's sure he looked like a crazy person with the way he was scrambling down the stairs and out of the apartment complex but he didn't give a rat's ass because he was gonna see Murphy.

When Murphy hangs up the phone, he prays he isn't making a huge mistake by having Bellamy over but Monroe was something that needed to be discussed in person and if he didn't do it now, he never would. He just hoped that all they did was talk because he still wasn't sure how much control he'd actually have with Bellamy, especially if things went like they did last time.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy learns about Monroe.

Exactly 20 minutes later there was a knock on the door and Murphy opened it, letting Bellamy in. 

"Nice pjs, Spongebob."

"Same to you, Iron Man."

Bellamy looks down and realizes that in his haste to get to Murphy's he totally forgot the fact that he was indeed still in his Iron Man pajama bottoms.

"Whatever, shut up. Am I here to talk about our taste in sleepwear or Monroe?" He says defensively. 

"You're the one who brought it up, so you tell me."

"Yeah, yeah. Tell me about you and Monroe."

"Do you wanna drink?" Murphy asks trying to stall but Bellamy isn't having it. 

"Maybe later. Now quit stalling and tell me about Monroe."

"Okay, okay. Fine, I'll tell you about Monroe." He replies with a sigh. 

Murphy sits on the couch and when Bellamy sits beside him, he turns sideways so that they are facing each other before taking a deep breath and beginning. 

"She used to hang around 2 of Miller's other friends but I didn't really meet her until Miller's birthday party 4 years ago. She was sarcastic, funny, honest and fearless but what really caught my attention was when she knocked out this dude who wouldn't leave her alone. She broke his nose and then his girlfriend wanted to run her mouth, so I took her for a walk to help her cool off and not ruin Miller's party with a fight."

"I call bullshit. You took her for a walk because you wanted to leave and she gave you an excuse, right?"

Murphy rolled his eyes because even though he was right, he wasn't gonna tell him so. 

"Anyways, we started talking and it turned out she liked me or at least was curious about me. She'll deny the attraction of course."

"Of course. Can't be attracted to you, it would ruin the fun."

"Yeah, except she is and we still have fun so...Anyways, things happened and we wound up back here."

"Did you get some?" Bellamy teases. 

"Not exactly."

Bellamy looks at him for a second before understanding comes across his features and he says "You love her?"

Murphy was silent as he tried to find the right words to convey to Bellamy what she meant to him but the silence caused him to panic. 

"Murphy, do you love her?"

He tried to hide the fear in his voice at the possibility of Murphy loving someone else but Murphy heard it and it killed him. 

"I do but not like I love you. There's a connection, a bond between us that isn't just friendship but I'll never love anyone the way I do you. Our relationship is difficult to explain and it's why I wanted to tell you about her in person."

"So explain it." Bellamy replies kinda harshly. 

"Don't be like that." Murphy responds knowing Bellamy's feelings are hurt. 

"Like what?" He snaps. 

"Like that. Don't be harsh or hostile and just listen. Actually listen to me, please?"

"Murphy I'm not...at least I don't mean to be. It's just the idea of you loving someone else hurts and I..."

Murphy moves closer to him, taking his hand, massaging the back of it with his thumb and catching Bellamy off guard.

"I know but listen to me and you'll understand why it shouldn't hurt you, okay?"

"Okay, I'll listen without interrupting you this time, on one condition."

"What are you planning, Blake?" Murphy questions. 

"I'll listen to you as long as you don't stop what you're doing."

"That shouldn't be a problem." He answers with a smile. 

"Now tell me about why your relationship with her is so difficult to explain."

"First you need to know that before Monroe I didn't want to be touched. After we broke up, I wanted nothing to do with any kind of contact with another person, especially intimate, physical contact but after 3 years of nothing, I found myself craving it and she gave it to me. Yet it wasn't just the contact, it was the way she went about it. It was like she knew I was hurting and when I pulled away from her that first time, she didn't give up, she just changed her approach. She started slow and hesitant, waiting for my reaction to each touch before she'd continue. If I was uncomfortable or started to pull away she'd back off and give me some space before trying again. That first night, we didn't have sex because I couldn't. I tried but I guess I still wasn't ready. She was so patient and understanding about it all and she didn't leave me. She stayed with me that night, even making me breakfast in the morning. I thought for sure after that, I'd never see her again but she didn't give up. If it wasn't for her I'd probably still be desperate for physical contact but running away from it when I got it. She knew exactly what I needed and even though things never developed into more than a friendship with benefits, she stayed. That's why I love her and why it's different than the way I love you. We could never have what you and I have because we're too much alike but we make great friends. I trust her advice more than Mbege's or Miller's and she's always there when and if I need her, so you..."

Murphy stops talking when Bellamy's lips unexpectedly crash into his. He hesitates but when Bellamy begins to pull away, Murphy grabs the back of his neck, pulling him close and kissing him back. Bellamy smiles into the kiss, grabs Murphy around the waist with both hands, picks him up and sits him on his lap as they continue kissing. 

Murphy's hands immediately run through Bellamy's hair where he lightly tugs on it eliciting small moans from him with every tug. They break apart, hearts racing and breathing heavy but Murphy's hands are still in Bellamy's hair while his are still around Murphy. They stare into each other's eyes for a second before their lips meet again. 

This time it's Murphy's turn to moan as Bellamy's hand tugs on his hair but when his other hand snakes it's way under Murphy's shirt and up his back, Murphy immediately jumps up and breaks all contact. Bellamy looks at him confused and thinking he's done something wrong, goes into damage control once again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I'll back off some and give you your space."

"I don't want space and I don't want you to back off. I mean I do but I don't. I don't know Bellamy. I'm so fucking confused and I...I want you. I want this. I want us but it...it terrifies me. I'm so afraid that if I let you back in you'll destroy me again but if I don't I may lose you forever and I don't...I don't know what to do." Murphy says as he paces back and forth behind the couch.

Bellamy stands and walks over to Murphy where he grabs his arms so he can pull him into a hug. He wraps his arms around Murphy and as he buries his head in Bellamy's shoulder, Bellamy continues to hold him in silence. When he feels Murphy wrap his arms around him and place his forehead in the crook of his neck, Bellamy speaks. 

"We'll figure this out. We've got time cuz I'm not going anywhere, not this time."

Murphy is silent for a while longer before he responds. 

"Do you have to work today?"

Bellamy looks at the clock on the t.v. that reads 5:30 and realizes how tired he really is. 

"I have to be at the gym by 2 to open it and stay till closing at 12."

"Is it far from here?" Murphy asks. 

"It's where the old rec center used to be, so no."

"That's where you work? Well that explains the very hot and sweaty guy I saw a while back, hitting the punching bag while sporting your shoulder tattoo."

"I workout sometimes after closing."

"Nice. Maybe I could come by and watch you sometime?"

"Or you could join me and we could spar." Bellamy suggests. 

"Tempting but I'll have to think about it. You should go so you can get some sleep before work or...or you could stay. I mean I wouldn't want you to fall asleep and get in an accident on the way home because Octavia would kill me." Murphy says as he pulls away from Bellamy. 

"Do you want me to stay?" Bellamy asks with a smile that makes him want to kiss him or kill him, which he isn't sure. 

"I'd prefer to not be alone right now and since you're already here, I figured you'd do."

"Really? You sure that's all?" Bellamy questions. 

"Yeah. There's no other reason that I can think of."

Murphy watches with curiosity as Bellamy sits down on the couch and says

"I'll stay but only because I'm really tired and this couch is super comfortable."

"I have an extra room upstairs if you want to sleep in an actual bed and that couch is only comfortable when you're drunk."

"A room would be nice. Lead the way."

He follows Murphy upstairs and notices 3 bedrooms and another bathroom. 

"Which ones yours?" He asks curiously. 

"The biggest of course. That's Mbege's." He says pointing to the room beside his and Bellamy can't help but feel jealous. 

"Is he here? Not that I mind, I'm just wondering." Bellamy questions really not wanting to have to deal with Mbege at the moment. 

"We had a difference of opinion and he's staying at Miller's until it's resolved."

"Did it have something to do with me?"

"Sorta. Here's the guest room and the bathroom is right there, so..."

"What happened?" Bellamy interrupts him. 

"He hid the fact that you had come looking for me after the breakup wanting to get back together."

"I'm sure he was doing what he thought was best."

"That's not the point. It wasn't his choice to make, it was mine and he should of told me. He should of trusted me to make the right decision, not make it for me." Murphy snaps getting angry. 

"True but would you be where you are now if he had?"

"I don't know. I'm too tired to be having this conversation and it's pissing me off so there's the room. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Bellamy says as he watches Murphy walk to his room. 

He sighs and walks into the guest room, not realizing that Murphy had stopped and is watching him. The door is almost closed before Murphy says anything. 

"Bellamy?" He says and then waits until Bellamy opens the door before continuing. 

"If I told you I didn't wanna sleep alone, what would you say?"

"Depends on what exactly you're asking me. Are you asking me to sleep with you or just wondering what my response would be?"

Murphy is quiet as if he's thinking about the best way to word what he wants without Bellamy misunderstanding him. 

"Lay with me, in my bed until I fall asleep. After that you can stay or go back to the guest room, whichever you prefer."

Bellamy doesn't respond and Murphy takes his silence as a no and continues on to his room. He closes the door and crawls into bed feeling like such an idiot. Bellamy watches as Murphy goes into his room and practically runs to the room, opening the door. Murphy turns at the sound of the door and Bellamy's voice. 

"I can do that. I'll hold you until you fall asleep."

Murphy smiles as Bellamy closes the door and crawls into bed beside him where he wraps his arms around him, pulling him close so Murphy's back is flush with his chest. Murphy is asleep as soon as his body is against Bellamy's but as he feels the steady rhythm of Murphy's breathing, he doesn't move and is soon asleep himself.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after holds a few surprises.

When Murphy wakes up he feels the absence of Bellamy's arm and weight around him causing him to be disappointed and a bit hurt by the fact that he didn't stay. However when he rolls over to look at the clock, he comes face to face with a still sleeping Bellamy and gently kisses his lips before snuggling into his chest, happy that he'd stayed. 

The action wakes Bellamy who smiles, pulls him closer and asks "What time is it?"

"Don't know and don't really care because I don't wanna move."

"Well normally I'd be all for that but I have to open the gym at 2, so I can't stay here all day."

"I know and you need to shower, you sink."

"Fuck you, Murphy." Bellamy says lightly pushing him away. 

"Is that an offer, Blake?" Murphy replies with a smirk. 

"Do you want it to be?"

"Nah, you might get hooked and start following me around like a little lost puppy."

"Please, you'd be the lost puppy, not me. I'd have you begging for more."

"Is that a challenge?" Murphy questions. 

"Why? Are you accepting?"

"When and where?" Murphy responds and it throws Bellamy off just enough that he's silent. 

"Told you, like a little lost puppy." Murphy continues with a sly smirk plastered on his face. 

Suddenly Bellamy moves and is on top of Murphy, holding his arms above his head. 

"We'll see who's a little lost puppy." He says with a smile that both worries and turns Murphy on at the same time. 

Bellamy wastes no time in attacking Murphy's neck and it takes everything in him to not make a sound but his body was a different story. With every bite, kiss, lick and whatever else Bellamy was doing to his neck, Murphy's body was writhing with pleasure. He could feel his dick getting tight in his pants and knew he needed to get Bellamy off of him quickly. Unfortunately Bellamy noticed it too and couldn't help rolling his hips to grind down just a little as he bit down and sucked on Murphy's neck. 

"Bellamy, please?"

It came out as a breathy whisper that had Bellamy not been so close to Murphy's mouth, he never would have heard. He paused and waited to see if Murphy would continue talking. 

"Stop." He pleaded. 

Bellamy could tell by his tone it wasn't what he really wanted but given the situation he opted not to push and let go of his arms before rolling off of him to lay beside him again. They lay there in silence for a bit and as Bellamy looks at the clock to check the time, he feels Murphy's hand in his, interlacing their fingers. He turns to him and sighs. 

"I gotta go."

"I know."

"I'm sorry for..."

"It's fine. I'm just still unsure if I'm ready for you know, all that yet."

"I know. You can come by the gym later and see me if you want or I could come back here when I get off." Bellamy suggests. 

"How about I just call you cuz I still gotta straighten things out with Mbege and he doesn't know about all of this yet." 

"Okay, well if you wanna talk or need to get away or something, you can always call me."

"I will."

Bellamy kisses him, puts on his shoes, grabs his keys and is about to leave the bedroom when Murphy speaks. 

"Seriously? You practically had my neck for breakfast and that measly little kiss is all I get when you leave. What the fuck?"

"I figured you could use a break."

"Whatever, asshole?" Murphy snaps as he rolls over, putting his back to Bellamy. 

"Murphy? Murphy? Come on, Murphy, look at me. Murphy? Please, look at me?" Bellamy pleads, not wanting to leave things with him being upset but Murphy wouldn't move. 

"Goodbye, Bellamy." He replies trying to hold back the smile at Bellamy's efforts. 

"Murph, don't be like that. You know I have to go."

"So fucking go! I'm not stopping you."

Bellamy makes his way to the bed where he places a hand on his shoulder which Murphy just shrugs off and says

"Don't touch me! Just go."

He can see the slightest hint of a smile on Murphy's face and realizes the little shit is messing with him, so he decides that two could play that game. He stands up, acting hurt and says

"Fine. Sorry I ruined your life again. They're won't be a third time."

"No! Bellam..." He begins as he turns over but stops when there's no one there. 

The room is empty and he sets up quickly, scanning the room for any signs of him but finding none. He gets up and walks to the door, almost afraid to open it because he doesn't want Bellamy to be gone again. Just as he's about to open the door, strong arms wrap around his waist, pulling him close and "Gotcha" is whispered in his ear. 

He wants to punch him, kill him but he's so relieved that he was still there that he did neither and instead turns to face him, wrapping his arms around Bellamy's neck and says

"Yeah, yeah, now shut up and kiss me like you mean it."

He says nothing as he pulls Murphy closer and kisses him. The kiss was deep, longing and over way too soon for Murphy's taste. 

"I can't be late, O will kill me, so we'll have to continue this later."

"Is that a promise?" Murphy asks. 

"Absolutely." Bellamy says with a smile as he kisses Murphy on the cheek before leaving the house for work. 

Murphy walks into the bathroom to shower but nearly has a heart attack when he looks in the mirror. His neck is beyond fucked. There's a huge golf ball sized hickey on the left side of his neck while the right side is dotted with smaller ones. He's tempted to call Bellamy and yell at him for them but figured it'd be useless since there wouldn't be anything he could do about it. He needed to find a way to cover them for work tomorrow but had no clue where to even start, so he called Monroe hoping she could help.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mbege confronts Murphy about his change in behavior.

Monroe, of course comes over without question or hesitation ready to help but starts laughing when she sees his neck. 

"Oh, thanks. Very helpful, M. Are you done?" Murphy asks annoyed. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, it's just that...It's just...did you lose a fight with a vacuum cleaner or..."

She can't even finish her sentence because she's laughing so hard and it continues to piss him off even if he can see the humor in the whole situation. 

"Damn it, M! This isn't funny. I need your help."

"Okay, okay. You're right. I'm sorry but are you sure you don't wanna call Bellamy to help since he obviously did such a good job on your neck?"

She begins laughing again and he walks over to the couch, sitting with his head in his hands exasperated. Monroe walks over and sits beside him, moving his hands and says

"Let me get a good look at em and see what I can do."

Murphy waits patiently as Monroe quietly examines his neck but if the look on her face is any indication, he's screwed. 

"So, how bad is it?"

"Bad enough that I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to help you. The right side is manageable but damn if he didn't do a number on the left."

"I know. Just do what you can. Anything is better than walking around with nothing."

"If I can cover the left, would you care if I left the right alone?"

"I think I can figure something out for the right, since it isn't that horrible, so do what you can with the left, please."

She got to work on trying out different methods of cover up until finally 3 hours later, she found one she was satisfied with and showed Murphy. 

"That'll work. Thanks, M. I owe you one." He says relieved. 

"You damn right you do." She said with a smile as she headed towards the door but stopped before opening it and turned back to Murphy. 

"Tell Bellamy the next time he wants to mark your neck he owes me dinner and something else of my choosing for my time wasted helping you cover it."

"I'll tell him and you're the best, M."

"No shit and you're lucky I still like you."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll call you."

After Monroe leaves he decides it's best if he doesn't leave the house unless he absolutely has to, even though he'd love nothing more than to be able to watch Bellamy get all sweaty and hit things. The next morning he does exactly what Monroe had showed him to the left side and took care of the right side himself before leaving for work. He prayed that it wasn't too noticeable because he knew Mbege would notice if it was.

He makes it through half the day without any problems and begins to think that maybe he's pulled this off but he forgot just how well Mbege knew him. Mbege had noticed something wasn't right from the moment Murphy had walked into the shop but he couldn't figure out what it was until he saw him interacting with a customer. He was polite and charming which was not Murphy. He was also happy but what really sealed the deal was when Murphy wiped his neck with a wet rag, wiping off some of the cover up in the process which allowed Mbege to see the obvious hickey on his neck. 

Mbege waited until around 2 and closed the shop early so that he could have a talk with Murphy. 

"We done for the day?" Murphy questions when he sees the closed sign in the window. 

"What the fuck happened to your neck?!" He yells. 

"What are you talking about?" Murphy asks pretending to be confused. 

"Don't play dumb, Murphy. You know damn well what I'm talking about. It was Bellamy, wasn't it? Did you fuck him?!"

"What the hell does it matter who it was or if I fucked them or not? It's my life Mbege and that means you have no fucking say in who or what I do!" Murphy yells back. 

"You're such a fucking idiot, Murphy. He doesn't care about you and he never did! Why can't you see that?"

"You should know all about not caring, Mbege since you never really cared about me either."

"Don't you dare! Don't you fucking dare, Murphy! You know damn well I care about you."

"Really cuz if you did you wouldn't be holding on so fucking tight when you know damn well I don't love you but you refuse because you're selfish and fucking jealous. If you really cared about me then you'd let me go."

Murphy doesn't wait for a response and leaves the garage. Murphy knows he's too angry to go home and doesn't want a mess to clean to up because of it so he drives to the woods where he can vent. Mbege in the meantime decides to see if maybe Murphy was right so he talks to their friends about it. 

A few days later the bruises had began to fade on Murphy's neck and although him and Bellamy had yet to finish what they had started, they had talked everyday since. He wanted to see Bellamy and yearned for his touch but he refused to be the first to voice it. He wanted Bellamy to say all those things first and he sure as hell wasn't gonna call him over to finish things until he did. 

It had been almost a week since they'd had any contact with each other and it was killing Bellamy. He wanted to feel Murphy's skin against his again. Hell he needed it and Murphy had been all he could think about since he'd first seen him with Clarke but since they spent the night together, it had gotten worse. The final straw was when he woke up from a nap, yelling Murphy's name with jizz in his pants and a still semi hard penis. He called Murphy hoping that he could remedy his problem in some way. 

Murphy was getting anxious himself and beginning to think Mbege was right about him until his phone rang. It was Bellamy and just so he didn't appear too eager, he let it ring a few times before answering. 

"What's up, Bell?"

"Just wondering what you were doing?"

"Bored as hell, trying to find something to do tonight."

"How about me?"

As soon as he said the words, he wished he hadn't. It wasn't that he didn't want it to happen because he did but it hadn't been how he had wanted to say it. 

"What was that?" Murphy asks for clarification and Bellamy could almost hear his smirk, if that were possible because he knew Murphy had heard him just fine and was being an ass about it. 

"I miss you, Murphy. I miss the feel of your skin against mine, your breath on my neck when you talk and those lips, God damn those lips, Murph. I want...I need to feel them on my skin and lips again. I want your lips to explore and caress every part of me and then I wanna fuck you until you're screaming my name. I..."

"Bellamy..." Murphy cuts him off but then there's a short pause as if he's unsure of what to say and the truth is he was. Bellamy had finally voiced what Murphy had been waiting for but he wasn't sure if he was ready. However when he felt his dick throbbing in his pants just from Bellamy's words, he knew he was. 

"How fast can you get here?"

"I need a shower cuz I'm disgusting, so give me an hour and I'll be there, okay?"

"Don't knock, just come in when you get here. The door will be unlocked and I'm be upstairs waiting for you. It's The Ark house, just so you know."

"I'll see you soon." Bellamy said as he hung up the phone and ran to get ready. 

Mbege, after having talked to everyone about what Murphy had said decided that they needed to talk so he headed to The Ark house so they could and hoped that he still wasn't upset with him.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mbege fucks things up.

When Murphy heard the door open and footsteps walking up the stairs, he assumed it was Bellamy. 

"Damn it's only been 10 minutes. That has to be a recor...What the hell do you want?" Murphy says when he turns to find Mbege instead of Bellamy. 

"I need to talk to you."

Murphy sighs knowing that he's not gonna leave until he talks to him. 

"Make it quick cuz Bellamy's coming over and if you're gonna argue about it, then you can just leave now."

"I'm not. I'm not happy about it but I'm not here to argue. I'm actually here to apologize."

"For what?"

"I talked to the guys and Monroe about what you said and then I thought long and hard about what they'd said."

"Didn't think your brain could handle that much thinking. I'm impressed." Murphy quipped. 

"Anyways, I realized I was wrong and you were right." 

"I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't quite hear you. Mind repeating it?"

Mbege rolled his eyes and said "You were right, Murphy."

"You damn right I was."

"Bellamy was, is the only person who can hurt you. The only person who's ever hurt you and when he came back into your life, I saw that happening all over again. I just couldn't watch you fall apart again and I'm terrified that that's what he's gonna do now but..."

"But it's not your life and..."

"I know it isn't. I do and that's why I'm walking away. I'm letting you go, Murphy and I hope this time is different than the last. I love you."

He closes the distance between them, takes Murphy's face in his hands and kisses him. It's deep and passionate and Murphy knows it's his way of saying goodbye. However what he doesn't know it that Bellamy is watching, at least until he speaks. 

"Seriously? What the fuck!"

"Bellamy, I..." Murphy starts as he pushes Mbege away and sees tears begin to form in Bellamy's eyes before he takes off down the stairs and out the door. 

Murphy races after him but when he gets outside there's no sign of Bellamy anywhere and he panics. As he runs back inside to grab his phone Mbege is casually walking down the steps like nothing happened which pisses him off, so he punches him as hard as he can.

"You sorry mother fucker! You knew. You knew he was there, didn't you? I swear to God, Mbege if I can't fix this, you're fucking dead to me. Do you hear me? You're fucking dead to me!" Murphy screams at him as he picks himself up off the floor and leaves.

Murphy calls Bellamy and keeps calling him until he turns his phone off which only causes his panic to grow, so he calls the only person he can think of for help, Octavia. She doesn't answer the first time which was expected but when he calls back she does and he could tell by her tone that she was annoyed by his call. 

"Octavia, I fucked up. I fucked up so bad and I don't know how to fix it. He saw me...and his face...He...Octavia, you have to find him." Murphy rattled off the words so fast that Octavia could barely comprehend them. 

"Murphy, calm down. Now who are you talking about?"

"Bellamy! Who the fuck do you think? Mbege was...He was...Bellamy saw..."

"Okay, take a deep breath and calm down. Murphy, you hear me? Take a deep breath and tell me what happened." Octavia said trying to get him to calm down so that she could at least halfway understand him. 

He did what she said and was finally able to coherently tell her everything. There was a long pause on the other end and Murphy isn't sure if she was still there or not until he heard her sigh. 

"I'll call him and see if he'll answer. Maybe he's got his phone back on. If not, I'll get a few people together and we'll go look for him. Is there anywhere you can think of that he would go? Maybe some place that means something to him or the two of you."

"There's a few places I can try."

"Well, check em out and call me if you find him. If I find him before you do, I'll let you know, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

Murphy strikes out at the first two places and even though his phone was back on, Bellamy wasn't answering Octavia which worried her because he never did that. There was one last place Murphy could try and he prayed that Bellamy would be there. It was a cliff near a clearing in the woods and it was where they had broken up but it was also the last place they'd been happy together. 

Murphy quietly and cautiously makes his way through the woods towards the cliff and finds Bellamy standing at the edge of it. He sends Octavia a quick text letting her know he's found him and where he was before stepping out into the clearing and saying something. 

"Bellamy? Bellamy I..."

"Was all of this payback for Atom? Was this just some game you were playing so that you...I could feel what you felt?"

"Bellamy I never...It wasn't like that."

"Then what was it like! How the hell am I supposed to...why? Why did you...why would you...?"

He spins around and Murphy can see the tears streaming down his face as he shouts at him.

"It wasn't about you. He just showed up unannounced and..."

"And you decided it'd be the perfect time to kiss him!? How long?" 

"Bellamy..."

"How long, Murphy?! How long have you and him been fucking?!" He screams, cutting him off and Murphy just wishes he'd hit or something. 

Anything to get him away from the cliff's edge because he was afraid Bellamy would fall or worse, jump. He knew what he was about to say was risky and the consequences could be exactly what he didn't want but hopefully it would piss Bellamy off enough that he'd charge him, so that way he was away from the edge. 

"It's not like that but it hurts, doesn't it? That feeling that it was all a lie, that there is someone else who can do things just like you or better and the worst of all is that it feels like you're being ripped apart from the inside out. Your heart is crushed and your soul is nothing but shreds all because you let someone in so deeply and so completely that even the smallest lie or betrayal breaks you so badly that you're never the same again. The only difference between mine and yours was that I didn't lie to you or betray you because we aren't together now." 

"No, we aren't but it doesn't lessen the pain and right now all I wanna do is..."

"Make it stop. I know but I also know it never stops. The pain never goes away because love hurts and that's how you know it's real. If it didn't hurt, it wouldn't mean shit and you wouldn't be in love."

Bellamy was silent for a while and turned away from him to face the cliff again as he spoke. 

"Do you love him? Do you love Mbege?"

"No." Murphy answers without hesitation and absolute certainty that confuses Bellamy even more than he already was. 

"Then why were you...What are you and him to each other then?"

"Complicated."

"Explain it to me, Murphy. If it's not love then why would you...why were you two kissing so passionately?"

"It may have looked that way to you but it wasn't passion, Bellamy, it was goodbye."

"What are you...? Explain it to me, Murphy cuz I'm so lost here. What are you two? Please, Murphy, I wanna know." He pleads and Murphy doesn't know what to say because he'd never actually thought about what they were.

Murphy was just about to put it into words when a voice from behind him speaks instead causing both him and Bellamy to turn towards it. 

"We're friends, nothing more. Don't be mad at Murphy for the kiss, he had nothing to do with it. I heard you walking up the steps and I knew you'd be coming over because he told me you were, so I kissed him to hurt you. I couldn't help it and as soon as you left he was down the stairs after you. He even busted my lip for it and said if this wasn't fixable I was dead to him. Just be mad at me, hate me, not him because he..."

He's cut off by Bellamy suddenly charging him and slamming him to the ground where he immediately starts pounding on him. Mbege never moves or fights back and just takes whatever Bellamy throws his way. After a few minutes Murphy gently touches Bellamy's shoulder but he instantly shoves it off and moves away from them both to sit against a nearby tree. 

Murphy makes sure that Mbege is still breathing before turning his attention back to Bellamy who's breathing heavily and his hands are shaking with rage. Murphy kneels in front of him but he didn't acknowledge his presence until he takes Bellamy's hands in his in an attempt to stop them from shaking. Bellamy slowly raises his head to look at Murphy who sighs before finally telling him everything. 

"The first time was 6 months ago and when I say first time, I mean it. Up until that point we'd never done anything, period. I knew he loved me but he knew I didn't feel the same way, so he never crossed that line. That night it happened, we were both really drunk and I was horny but Monroe was sick so when he kissed me I didn't stop him. Afterwards some rules were laid down and it only happened when I wanted it, on my terms. Since then it's only happened a total of 6 times and it's always just sex, nothing more. I love you, Bellamy Blake and only you. You're all I want. You're all I've ever wanted from the moment I first saw you but I'll understand if you want nothing more to do with me."

Bellamy was silent the whole time Murphy was talking and that silence continued after he was finished which when coupled with the fact that his hands hadn't moved the entire time, told Murphy it was his time to go. He let go of Bellamy's hands, kissed his forehead and started to walk away. Whatever trance Bellamy had been in was broken when Murphy kissed him and started to walk away. 

He was still somewhat hurt but he couldn't let Murphy walk out of his life again especially when he was the only one that could stop him, so he did. He grabs Murphy's arm, spins him around to face him and smashes their lips together. The shock of being suddenly spun around is replaced with relief the instant he feels Bellamy's lips on his. Murphy immediately wraps his arms around Bellamy's neck, pulling him closer as his hands move into Bellamy's hair and Bellamy grabs Murphy's waist. When Murphy tugs on Bellamy's hair, he grabs Murphy's ass with both hands, picking him up causing Murphy to wrap his legs around him as Bellamy backs them into the tree.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get interesting and Murphy finally gets to watch Bellamy at the gym.

Octavia and Clarke who had been watching the events since Mbege's arrival, hidden behind a few trees begin to get uncomfortable as things between Murphy and Bellamy progress so Octavia steps out into the open and clears her throat loud enough for them to hear. Thankfully they stop with breathy laughs as they turn towards the source of the interruption. 

When they see it's Octavia and Clarke, Bellamy looks a little worried. Murphy figured it was because he was afraid of Octavia's wrath because even though she was small, she was brutal when she was pissed. A fact that he knew all too well considering both of them had been on the receiving end of it once or twice. 

"You didn't answer me, Bell. I was worried and if it hadn't been for Murphy I'd have never known where you were or if you were okay."

"I know O and I'm sorry. I am. I just...I didn't want to talk to anyone, even you."

"I know which is why I'm giving you tonight but tomorrow you're gonna pay for making me worry, got it?"

"Got it." He replies as he slightly hangs his head as if ashamed. 

"So he's the reason you weren't into me? It all makes sense now." Clarke says turning to Murphy. 

"Clarke, I wanted to tell you but I couldn't because it would interfere with the job. I'm sorry you had to find out this way."

"Don't be. It's fine. It actually makes sense. I mean job or no job, the way you looked at each other that night at the restaurant, I knew something was up but I chose to ignore it. Anyways I'm not worried because you introduced me to Lexa and things are going great, so thank you for that."

"So, you're happy, then?" Bellamy questions Clarke curious about Lexa and the whole conversation in general with Murphy. 

"I am, yeah."

"That's good. Clarke I never...you know I..."

"I get it, Bellamy, you were never in love with me or any of us because you've always been in love with him and that's okay. It really is cuz at least you're not the heartless bastard I thought you were. Just do me a favor and don't fuck it up this time and that goes for you too." She says pointing at Murphy. 

They both nod as she walks away with Octavia following a few seconds later. Mbege had finally gotten to his feet and Bellamy nods, letting Murphy know he's fine with him talking to him.

"You okay?"

"I've had worse so I'll be fine. Are we okay?" He asks unsure. 

"You've always been like a brother to me and that hasn't changed but I think it's best if we no longer lived together. I'll move to the TonDC house and you can stay at The Ark one since it's closer to the garage."

"I can live with that but what about the job?"

"We'll still use The Ark house to conduct all matters pertaining to that."

"I wasn't asking about that part, I was asking in reference to him. He needs to know, Murph. I think you should tell him about what we do, what we really do and his part in it."

"I know I do but what if he...if he hates me and leaves me because of it, I don't know if I..."

"If he does than he never truly loved you in the first place because when you do you love all of them, no matter how fucked up they may be." He says reassuringly. 

"Call M and tell her to come over to patch you up. I'll grab some of my stuff tomorrow."

Mbege smiles as Murphy hugs him before he watches him walk away with Bellamy. He prayed that this time things would be different because if he hurt Murphy again, he'd kill him without hesitation. Since Bellamy had to open the gym in an hour they decided they'd talk more when Bellamy got off. 

Bellamy had to work till 12 and Murphy wasn't sure if he could go the next 6 hours without seeing him after everything that had went down earlier so he went to the gym to see him. At around 8:30 Murphy walked into the gym with dinner. Bellamy was in the office, bent over looking for something in a file cabinet when he walked in. He stared at his ass for a bit before he said anything. 

"Damn, that's one hell of a view."

Bellamy jumps at the unexpected sound and at the same time manages to close the cabinet on his finger. 

"Fucking shit! Damn it! Holy mother of..."

Murphy sits the pizza down in the chair and is by Bellamy's side.

"Shit babe, I'm sorry. Let me see." Murphy says as he grabs Bellamy's hand and begins checking his fingers.

Only one of them appears to be cut while the other two are red and none of them look seriously injured. Murphy leaves the office and grabs the first aid kit he'd spotted on the wall when he came in to bandage Bellamy's finger. As he works Bellamy watches him in silence with a smile on his face which Murphy soon notices. 

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Cause you're hot and you called me babe."

"Did I?"

"You did."

"Is that a problem?"

"Not at all. In fact I think you should do it more often."

"Really? Well in that case, I'll think about it." He replies as he finishes up and puts the kit back where he found it.

When he comes back into the office Bellamy is sitting at the desk with the pizza in front of him. 

"It was so sweet of you to bring me dinner but what are you gonna eat?"

"Half of that's mine asshole!"

"You sure about that?" He teases. 

"Very. Now quit hogging it and give me a piece."

"What do you say?"

"Now, bitch."

"Well that wasn't very nice. You really don't get any now."

Murphy walks over and tries grabbing a piece but Bellamy keeps it out of his reach as he continues eating. 

"C'mon babe, give me some." Murphy whines. 

A huge grin appears on Bellamy's face and he slides the box over to him. They finish the pizza in silence and at around 9:25ish Bellamy makes his round to check on things, leaving Murphy alone in the office. He returns about 20 minutes later, closing and locking the office door behind him. 

"I've bought us an hour of privacy so what do you wanna do?" He asks as he sits on the desk beside the chair Murphy is in. 

Murphy thinks for a second before standing and positioning himself between the others legs. 

"I can think of a few things but most depend on how quiet you can be." Murphy says as he kisses Bellamy's neck and runs his hand over his growing erection causing Bellamy to gasp at the touch.

"I do like a challenge." Bellamy replies as he tilts his head, exposing more of his neck to Murphy's lips and closes his eyes. 

Murphy decides to return the favor that Bellamy had left on his neck earlier and gets to work. 

"Ah...fuck, Murphy." He moans as Murphy sucks and bites his neck. 

When he's satisfied that the size is bigger than the one he had he soothes the spot with his tongue and kisses up Bellamy's neck, across his jaw line just to stop before their lips touch. Bellamy let's out a small noise in disappointment until Murphy unbuckles his belt, unbuttons his pants and slowly unzips them.

The anticipation of what's to come is killing him and he's about to say something when Murphy kisses him. He bites and pulls on Bellamy's button lip before stopping long enough to lick his top lip before continuing to kiss him. As their tongues battle, Murphy reaches down Bellamy's boxers and gently squeezes his dick causing him to moan slightly. Murphy then begins stroking it and as he gets faster, it becomes harder to contain Bellamy's noises. 

"You can't be so loud, babe, they'll hear you." Murphy scolds as he stops pumping but doesn't remove his hand and instead takes his thumb, making small circles on the tip of his cock.

The sensation drives him insane and he wants nothing more than to bend him over the desk so he can finally be inside him. Hell he'd even settle for Murphy's mouth around his penis but he's sure they aren't there yet. 

"Quit fucking teasing me and do something! Shit, Murph, I'm dying here." Bellamy growls. 

"Well then you'll miss all the fun we'll have tonight and I know you don't want that, do you?"

"God damn it, Murph, just..."

Murphy cuts him off by kissing him and slowly starting to pump his dick again. The pace is killing him but just as he's about to say something Murphy bends his head down towards his dick and he becomes anxious. Murphy rolls his tongue lightly over the tip of Bellamy's penis causing him to grip the desk and say

"Fuck, baby, don't stop."

Murphy smiles continuing to stroke him and once again runs his tongue over the tip. He then licks from the base to the tip, shocking Bellamy with the sudden change. 

"Shit, Murphy!"

Murphy repeats the action and rolls his tongue over the tip before returning to massaging it with his thumb. 

"I'm close." Bellamy breathes out. 

"Good." Murphy responds as he gives one last quick tug before stopping completely and waking over to look out the window of the office. 

"Are you kidding me? What the fuck!? I was right there!" Bellamy practically yells. 

"I know and it's why I stopped. If I show you all my ticks then things will get boring. Besides I want you squirming with anticipation as to what else I can do to make you come."

"You're an asshole and a dirty damn tease." He says as he fixes his pants. 

"I am but you love it."

"I do." He says as he wraps his arms around Murphy's waist from behind and kisses his neck. 

"I gotta go check on the gym. You staying till I get off?"

"I can, if you want me too."

"I want."

"Then I'll stay." Murphy replies with a smile as Bellamy leaves the office to make his rounds.

At around 10:30 Bellamy walks out of the office and heads to the locker room without a word. Murphy watches curiously as Bellamy returns shirtless and with tape around his hands. Murphy is a bit confused as he steps into the ring where gloves and a mouth guard are given to him before another guy gets in the ring with him. Murphy watches, fascinated as they spar and it's quite possibly the hottest thing he's seen in a long time. Who would've thought that a private school history teacher was able to handle himself like that. 

Every now and then they'd stop to discuss a block, punch or hold before continuing to spar. Murphy, of course couldn't take his eyes off of Bellamy and wondered if he'd let him get in the ring with him for a few rounds. About 45 minutes before 12, Bellamy and the guy stop sparring but as the guys in the gym head to the showers, Bellamy gets out of the ring to punch the punching bag a bit before closing. 

The sweat glistening on Bellamy's chest and abs along with the tightening of his muscles at every hit makes Murphy want to ravish him right there but he restrains himself. Bellamy would glance at him every so often with a smirk on his face that told him he knew exactly what he was doing to him and was enjoying every second of it. When the last guy left the gym at 11:50ish, Bellamy was still punching the bag so he turned the sign and locked the door. 

Bellamy continues hitting the bag as Murphy watches until he walks up behind him, lightly running his hand up Bellamy's back, kissing him along his shoulder and up the back of his neck. Bellamy slows his punches but doesn't stop completely until Murphy whispers in his ear. 

"You have no idea how much this is making me want to rip what few clothes you have on off and fuck you, hard."

Murphy then licks up the outside of his ear and lightly sucks on the lobe causing Bellamy to growl slightly before spinning around and pinning Murphy against the padded wall. Murphy grins in a smug way that makes Bellamy want to knock it off his face but instead he roughly crashes their lips together. The kiss is hard, rough and full of frustration as teeth hit teeth and Bellamy presses his sweaty and hot body flush with Murphy's. 

The kiss becomes more frenzied and less controlled until suddenly Bellamy bites down, hard on Murphy's bottom lip making it bleed. Murphy digs his nails into Bellamy's arm and does the same to his bottom lip causing Bellamy to pull away. 

"Damn. Fuck!" He curses as he touches his lip and feels the blood. 

He looks at Murphy somewhat pissed until he notices the blood on his lip and his features soften. He begins to apologize but Murphy licks the blood off Bellamy's lip and says "Shut up" before kissing him. This time the kiss is soft, passionate and loving but as Murphy puts his hand down Bellamy's shorts, he pulls away. 

"Let me clean up the gym and shower before we do all that. I want to not have to worry about interruptions so we can really enjoy ourselves."

"Works for me but hurry up, okay? I'm seriously horny and I want you inside me."

"Well damn, maybe I should make you bleed more often."

"Just hurry up." 

Bellamy smacks Murphy on the ass as he walks past him and starts putting everything away before he showers. Once everything is done and he's ready to go, he rides with Murphy to his TonDC house because he figured if his car was still at the gym, Octavia wouldn't bother him until he was back there tomorrow afternoon.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and Murphy play a little game and Bellamy finds out Murphy is keeping something from him.

As soon as Murphy closes the door to his house, Bellamy wastes no time and pushes him up against the door where he starts kissing him. It isn't long before Murphy's pants are pulled down to his ankles and Bellamy's mouth is on his dick. 

"Holy fucking shit!" Murphy breathes as Bellamy's head begins to bob up and down. 

Murphy grabs Bellamy's hair, gripping it tightly as he bucks his hips, pushing his cock deeper into Bellamy's mouth which causes him to grip Murphy's hips so tight that he's sure it'll leave bruises but he didn't care. Bellamy rolls his tongue over the tip and gently nips it before taking it all back into his mouth which causes Murphy's legs to shake a bit. 

"Bellamy, I'm..."

"Hmm." Bellamy hums around Murphy's penis which causes him to come without warning. 

"Fuck! I'm..." Murphy begins but stops as Bellamy stands up and kisses him. 

"You want more?" He asks as their lips touch. 

"Yes."

"Too bad. Teases don't get what they want."

"Well if that's the case then you don't get what you want either, so think about that one." Murphy says with a shrug, not missing a beat. 

He pulls his pants back up and walks past Bellamy into the kitchen to grab a beer. Bellamy watches him and then follows a few seconds later. Murphy is casually leaning against the counter drinking his beer and seeming unfazed by not getting anything else from him which admittedly is driving Bellamy crazy. Murphy stares at him for a second before opening the fridge and tossing him a beer.

They stare at each other a while longer until Bellamy decides he's gonna pay a little game and see which one of them begs for the other to fuck him first. He still remembers every sweet spot that Murphy used to have and figures he'll hit them all just because he can. Murphy was content to hold out until Bellamy begged for it especially since he'd already been thoroughly satisfied as soon as they walked through the door but as the look in Bellamy's eyes changed he began to worry. 

Of course it wasn't long before Bellamy showed him why. Bellamy chugged his beer and placed it on the counter beside Murphy but as he does, he positions his leg in between Murphy's so that they could each feel the heat of the other's crotch. Bellamy then lightly gazes his teeth against Murphy's neck and smiles when he turns his head, exposing more of his neck. When Bellamy's hand runs up his shirt and he sucks on his collarbone while he moves his hips in a circular motion on his leg, Murphy instantly realizes what he's doing. 

Once he figured out Bellamy's game he decided that he needed a taste of his own medicine. As Bellamy hit every one of Murphy's sweet spots, Murphy did the same to him and neither seemed willing to give in. They had managed to make their way from the kitchen to the bedroom where they continued to push each other right to the edge or just before it but never going over it which seemed to frustrate Bellamy more than Murphy. 

Bellamy was seriously starting to rethink that blowjob he'd given Murphy as soon as they got there because he knew he wasn't hurting as much because of it. Murphy was currently pushing Bellamy to the edge much like he'd done at the gym and he was trying so hard not to let Murphy know how close he was in the hope that he could fool him but Murphy knew he was close so he stopped. He stood up and headed to the dresser, leaving Bellamy very frustrated and confused. 

"What are you doing?"

"Changing into my pjs cuz I'm going to bed."

Bellamy opens and closes his mouth trying to think of something to say as Murphy smiles but comes up empty. He watches from the bed as Murphy finds his clothes and begins to change. He slowly takes his clothes off knowing that Bellamy is watching and makes sure everything is off except his boxers. The whole scene drives Bellamy insane and even though he knows what Murphy's doing, he's not sure if he can handle much more. 

When Murphy decides to take his boxers off at an agonizingly slow pace, Bellamy is done. The dresser drawer is suddenly slammed shut as Murphy feels Bellamy pressing against his back and his hot breath tickling his ear as he speaks. 

"You win. You fucking win. Now let me bend you over and fuck you till you scream. Please, Murphy?"

He practically begs the last part as Murphy palms his dick through his pants and says

"Well since you said please but these clothes have got to go."

He nods and begins taking his clothes off as Murphy makes his way to the bed. Bellamy crawls on the bed where Murphy is already prepping himself and kisses him passionately. Murphy get on his knees and forearms as Bellamy pumps his own dick a few times before sliding it into Murphy's ass. After a few thrusts, he grabs Murphy's dick and strokes it in rhythm with his thrusts. 

When he stops stroking Murphy's penis and moves his hand to tighten his grip on his hips, Murphy knows he's close. A couple more hard and deep thrusts had Bellamy coming with Murphy not far behind. Bellamy pulls out exhausted and collapses on the bed beside Murphy. He pulls him close as Murphy buries his face in the crook of his neck and says

"That was the best I've had since, well you."

"Same here. You know you're the only person who has ever been able to drive me that fucking crazy and I love you that much more because of it."

He kisses Murphy's forehead and soon both are asleep, completely exhausted both physically and mentally from the days events. Bellamy is woken up at 9 a.m. by a phone ringing and is determined to ignore it but it won't stop so once he finds it, he answers it. 

"About damn time. Shit, Murphy I've been calling you for 3 days straight now." Says a very irritated male voice on the other end. 

"Sorry. I was in The Ark on business." Bellamy answers. 

He knew he should have told them he wasn't Murphy but his curiosity got the best of him and he played it off like he was Murphy. 

"Your voice sounds strange. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just a little tired and sick so..."

"Oh, well anyways I have a job for you. Meet me at the government center building room 317 in TonDC at 10 a.m. tomorrow morning and I'll give you the details. Oh and bring those 2 tech geeks of yours with you."

They didn't wait for a reply and hung up without another word, leaving Bellamy very confused about what the hell that was all about. Murphy begins to wake up and the smile on his face at seeing Bellamy beside him fades when he sees the phone in his hand. 

"Why do you have that?"

"It wouldn't stop ringing, so I answered it."

"You what?! Why would you do that? Damn it, Bellamy!" Murphy states obviously angry. 

"It wouldn't stop ringing and they thought I was you so it's not a problem, right?" He defends himself. 

"Yes it's a problem, Bellamy! Fuck! Well, what did he say?" Murphy asks a bit calmer. 

"Meet him at 10 tomorrow morning at the TonDC government center and bring your two tech geeks to discuss a job."

"Did he say what room?"

"317."

"Okay. I gotta start preparing for tomorrow." Murphy sighs, getting out of bed and grabbing some clothes before heading into the bathroom leaving Bellamy completely lost. 

"Murphy, what the hell is going on? Who was that guy and what kind of job needs two tech geeks to discuss?"

"It's nothing you need to worry about. Trust me Bell, everything is fine." Murphy dismisses Bellamy's questions. 

"Fine? Fine? That guy has been calling you for 3 days! Murphy, talk to me, please?"

He hears the shower turn on as Murphy remains silent and it pisses him off that he's being ignored, so he walks into the bathroom to make Murphy answer his questions. Murphy isn't in the shower yet and is instead standing in front of the mirror waiting for the water to warm. 

"So who is he? Should I be worried about him?"

"No, so why does it matter?" Murphy says without looking away from the mirror. 

Bellamy smacks the bathroom door without warning, startling Murphy as he yells at him. 

"Because it fucking matters, Murphy! Now what the fuck is going on?!"

"Jeez, Bell, relax. Damn. I don't have time to explain it so..."

"You better fucking make time, John because otherwise I'm leaving."

Murphy cringes at the use of his first name especially in that specific tone but shrugged it off and walked toward the shower confident that Bellamy wouldn't leave but he didn't know how wrong he was.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy finally learns the truth about Murphy's job.

Bellamy never said a word as he walked back into the bedroom and got dressed. Murphy watched him curiously, certain that he'd never actually leave and it was all just a ploy to get him to talk but as he grabbed his keys as he left the bedroom, Murphy panicked a bit. Murphy ran out the room, still naked and down the hall but as he got to the stairs he saw the door close. He freaks and runs down the stairs yelling Bellamy's name. He opens the door to find nothing. Bellamy was nowhere in sight and if he wasn't naked he would of ran out into the street screaming his name. 

Murphy slams the door, throws the closest thing he can find and slams his fist into the wall a few times as he cusses himself for being such an idiot. What he didn't know was Bellamy was still there. He was about to leave but remembered he'd left his phone in the kitchen and went to get it where he witnessed Murphy's outburst in its entirety. A few minutes later, Murphy's hand begins to throb so he makes his way into the kitchen to clean it. 

Bellamy stays quiet and out of sight while he watches him unsuccessfully attempt to clean his hand. He soon gives up and sits down at the table feeling lost and broken with his head in his hands. Murphy can't believe he once again caused Bellamy to leave him. Suddenly he's pulled out of his thoughts when he feels someone take his hand. 

"I'm still pissed at you but you're hurt, so let me help." Bellamy says without looking at him and keeps his focus on Murphy's hand. 

Murphy stares at him for a bit in shock that he's still there but it passes quickly and he's back to his cocky self. 

"Couldn't stay away, could you?"

"I forgot my phone, actually which is the only reason I'm still here." Bellamy replies quickly and can almost feel Murphy's disappointment at his words. 

"Oh." Murphy responds in a tone that's so deflated, Bellamy wants to reassure him somehow but is cut off when Murphy continues talking. 

"I fucked up. It's what I do. I'm a fuck up but I don't wanna fuck this up again. I want to tell you the truth about everything that I've really been doing the past 7 years but I'm afraid you'll hate me and never want anything to do with me ever again. I can't deal with that, not this time. I won't survive it."

"I could never hate you, Murph. I may want to punch yo in the face or not talk to you for a few days but I'll never hate you, no matter what." Bellamy reassures him. 

"Even if I said us running into each other at that restaurant wasn't an accident because I knew you'd be there and it was all part of a job I was hired for? You were a job. Would you still not hate me?" Murphy asks obviously distraught. 

"What do you mean I was a job? What exactly do you do?" 

Bellamy stops cleaning his hand and looks at him confused but still holding his hand which gives Murphy hope.

"Revenge for hire, essentially. Clarke hired me and my associates to get revenge on you for what you did to her. My job was to make you feel and then rip it all away, leaving you broken which is exactly what I was trying to do until..."

"Is all of this part of your job? Am I...is any of this real or was yesterday and last night all pretend?" He asks Murphy as he lets go of his hand and gets up from the table to pace back and forth. 

"No, no. None of this is a job to me, not anymore. Everything that's happened between us since I asked you to meet me here to talk has been completely real. It...You stopped being a job to me when I saw the pain and hurt on your eyes at that party. I was trying to find a way of getting out of it but I didn't have to because Clarke ended it for me. Bellamy, I love you so much and it's the realist, most genuine emotion I've ever felt. Please, believe me." 

Bellamy remains silent as he continues pacing, shaking his head trying to make sense of what he's just been told. Murphy takes his silence as an admission of disbelief and says

"I'll go finish my shower so you can leave without any issues. Goodbye, Blake."

He walks up the stairs and climbs into the shower, letting the water wash away his frustration and hide his tears. Bellamy flashes back to that day on the cliff 7 years ago, remembering Murphy's face and tone and notices they're the same. The goodbye Blake wasn't a goodbye at all but a plea for him to stay. It was his way of saying Please don't leave me without actually saying it and it had taken 7 years for Bellamy to realize it. 

Murphy didn't want him to leave, he never did. He wanted him to stay and fight for him which he didn't do the last time but he wasn't making that mistake again. This time he'd prove to Murphy that his love was just as real and genuine as Murphy's was. He made his way up the stairs and back into Murphy's room where he could still hear the shower running. He took his clothes off and quietly made his way into the bathroom. 

Bellamy can see based on the shadow from the shower curtain that Murphy is sitting in the corner of the tub with his arms wrapped around his knees. He slowly pulls back the curtain to step inside the shower with him but Murphy doesn't acknowledge his presence. Bellamy sits down beside him, pulls him close and says

"I'm right here, okay? I'm not leaving you. Not now, not ever. I love you."

Murphy doesn't say a word but wraps an arm around Bellamy's neck and pulls him close as he buries his face in it. They sit there wrapped in each other's arms for a few more minutes before Murphy finally speaks. 

"I love you, too."

He kisses Bellamy's neck and tries to tug on his hair but pain shoots through his injured hand causing him to wince. Bellamy, of course notices and offers him a deal. 

"I'll help you shower in exchange for you telling me everything about your real job and then you go see Clarke because I'm pretty sure you've broken something in your hand, okay?"

Murphy nods in a agreement as they stand up. He tells Bellamy everything while he helps him shower and when he's finished talking, Bellamy's silence worries him until he's turned around and their lips meet. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I caused you to turn to revenge and I'm sorry I didn't stay but I promise you it won't happen again." He tells Murphy after the kiss. 

Murphy kisses him again, glad that he decided to stay and doesn't hate him. As the kiss deepens, Murphy palms Bellamy's dick causing his breath to hitch as Murphy says

"Fuck me again before work and when you get off tonight I'll pay you back for it."

"As you wish, John." Bellamy answers with a smile but before Murphy can protest about him calling him John, he's spun around and pushed up against the shower wall as Bellamy fucks him, hard. 

Afterwards, Bellamy helps Murphy shower again before showering himself and since he had an hour to kill before work he asked Murphy the question he'd wanted to ask from the moment he found out about his job. 

"Can I join you? I mean can I be a part of your team? Be one of your associates and help you out with jobs and stuff."

"Seriously? You really wanna help and do what I do?" Murphy asks in disbelief.

"Well, yeah. It sounds fun."

"I'll have to discuss it with the other's but if they're fine with it then I'd be more than happy to have you help."

While Bellamy was at the gym, Murphy filled everyone in on the job meeting and Bellamy wanting to help which as expected had mixed feelings. However, thanks to Monroe, they agreed to give him a trial run to see how he worked out and based on his performance decide if he could be a part of the team or not. Bellamy, of course did excellent and they had no choice but to make him part of the team which made Murphy very happy. 

Another thing that made Murphy happy, aside from Bellamy sticking around was Mbege finding someone else to love who actually loved him back the way he wanted and Clarke was happy with Lexa. Things had even become civil between her and Bellamy and the four of them even hung out from time to time. Monroe remained single but every now and then she'd spend some quality time with him and Bellamy. Life was finally good and Murphy couldn't be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this and thanks for all the kudos and comments, they are greatly appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments and kudos and feel free to bug me on tumblr about how much this sucks at awesomeskittlesclw83. I'm not on much but I'll respond.


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